It's now been two months since your original post and you're back seeking advice again.
It's quite evident you have't told your husband about the affair. I think if he knew the truth, the nagging question should you leave or stay, just may be answered for you.
I think you need to stop focusing on who and what man can bring to you. If you don't know who you are and what you want how can you expect others to "make" you happy? That's your job, and you're failing at it.
No one can tell you what to do. You're an adult and you have to start making adult decisions. It's time to put away childish thoughts about how to live your life. So far, you've married a man you don't cherish as a husband and had an affair, only to make a mess of that too.
What do you want?