I don’t love her anymore; how should I tell her?

First of all, welcome to A2K......Secondly.....tell her it's not working out for you and you are not happy. If she protests, tell her, she needs to find someone who she can really connect with.......it's just not you.

Don't stay with a controlling person, they swear they will change......but they won't, then can't, and they don't really want to change.

I married the neediest man in the world when I was 23, the neediness turned to control, then abuse........he tried to kill me when I was 27, I escaped by the skin of my teeth......Save yourself some heartache and get away from that woman now.

Raised by Wolves.

What do you envisage to be a fantastic relationship?

One of equality? One where you both minx together as one? One where you share your day with each other ? One where you laugh and joke together as best friends?

Based on what you have written, if you were to "try" to tell her that you don't wish to tell her your every move, right down to taking a shower and that you wish for her to join in with you and your friends instead of wanting 100% of your time alone, do you think that she would take that ? I don't. She is who she is, you are who you are, she is not the only lady in the World and as you've said it's toxic and you are drowning.

She would not feel betrayed or if she did, she would say " not another one' in other words "no one " would put up with that, that's not a relationship it does not constitute a relationship .

She will not understand you as she has rules abide or go.

I think you can do better don't you?

You don't need this and annoying is an understatement it's controlling.

Just tell her that you aren't able to be in this type of relationship it's not you, see if she offers ideas somehow I don't think she will.

forget about not being in love. it sounds like you don't even like this woman.

time for you to move on. end the relationship. get to know some people locally. make friends. meet women you can like. work your way up to meeting someone you can love.

don't waste any more time on this woman. hopefully the ski trip itself was fun and not a waste of money trying to find a woman.

Such matters of human relationships are commonly imagined as far more complicated than they really are - if one is honest, which one should of course try to be. Your particular "dilemma" and its resolution is properly and adequately addressed in an instructive lecture once given by MT...
https://at.virginia.edu/2LcKi0I

Really? You are afraid she won’t “understand” you! You had no problem explaining it to us...

Perhaps you don’t know how to handle a strong- willed woman. Better learn now.

Tell her that you have terminal apathy.