A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man''s truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined.
Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said, "Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let''s put this rivalry behind us."
The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don''t we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vodka? I have a bottle in the truck."
The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said, "Thanks, but I''ll wait till after the cops get here!"
Pseudo Chinese One-liners
"Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly."
"Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone."
"Man who run in front of car get tired."
"Man who run behind car get exhausted."
"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways - going to Bang-kok."
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
"Baseball is wrong! Man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth."
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it."
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot."
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
"Man who farts in church sits in own pew."
"Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion."
"Crowded elevator smells different to midget."
