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Will he try again or just let it go?

 
 
Aa817
 
Reply Sun 24 Jun, 2018 10:15 pm
Hello, I dated my ex boyfriend for about 6 months. Everything went really well.. he was attentive and considerate. One day I lashed out at him and wanted to break up for no reason like always. Usually he’ll always plead to do better and stuff but this time he just asked if that’s what I really wanted. I said yes. One week went by I texted him first and apologized and ask to try again. He said he had doubts and didn’t really text as much as before. I said if he had doubts then there’s no point in trying again. I said that out of anger. Then he suggested to be friends and at first I declined then I gave in. That month just staying as friends we didn’t hang out that much, maybe twice but it was me who initiated. But we do talk every day on the phone and text all day(even more than when we dated). He would also get really jealous if I talked about other guys. Like if I said I was going to hang out with a guy he would call me right away. His behavior lead me to think that he still liked me and made me realize that I can’t be friends. I tried to break up the friendship bc I know i’ll End up hurting later but he went crazy and begged me to stay friends and do whatever it takes to stay friends. So I gave in once again and a week later, I found out he went on dates with a girl and told her she liked her but not sure if he liked him. He was the one who told me bc I asked him. Then I got hurt and ended the friendship 2 days ago. Told him it is selfish of him to want to stay friends when he knows I’ll be hurt. Just felt used. During those 2 days he called me and texted me nonstop so I had to tell him to stop. I gave him another chance Either try again or let everything go. He chose to let everything go... he said we get Along really well and that he loves talking to me but he don’t think it’ll work out. He just has certain preferences and he’s wanting to get married within 2-3 years so he doesn’t want to waste his time.

Now I’m wondering would I get a chance by doing the no contact or should I just move on. I’m disappointed bc I know he’s a really good guy. I know he will try to contact me again by next week bc he’s really persistent, so how long should I do the nc rule?

Thanks!
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Jun, 2018 07:07 am
@Aa817,
Really good guys don't throw temper tantrums every time their girlfriends so much as talk to another guy. And mature women don't play the break up for no reason/makeup dance.

You both need to deal with your anger and you both need to mature. A lot.

I suggest you stay apart. I also suggest you get counseling, and get some tools for dealing with your intense emotions more productively.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jun, 2018 09:20 am
@Aa817,
Aa817 wrote:

. One day I lashed out at him and wanted to break up for no reason like always. Usually he’ll always plead to do better and stuff but this time he just asked if that’s what I really wanted.


I dunno Jes, I read this differently, but the ending is the same.

She lashes out and wants to break up for no reason, apparantly multiple times.

He in turn, for unknown reasons, maybe to just keep the peace, volunteers to "do better"

Then there is the anger at her talking to 1/2 the population.

Seems like both of them need to grow up.

Separately.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Jun, 2018 12:25 pm
@Aa817,
Quote:
One week went by I texted him first and apologized and ask to try again.


Personally, I think you are a bit psycho. You evidently wanted to break up multiple times over only a 6 month period and when he comes around to your way of thinking and says he will do better, you decide not to break up. Until this last time. Instead of bowing to your tactic, he says fine. So what happens? You initiate contact with him. Why?? Because the whole breakup routine was simply a way of manipulating him.

Then the two of you decide to be friends but you both end up getting jealous when the other talks/goes out with someone else. If you are simply friends, what does it matter if he dates other girls or you date/talk to other guys? So are you telling us you have no guys you are friends with since you would not want them talking to other girls?

Anyway, here is my suggestion. BLOCK HIM on all social media. Stop texting him. Do not respond to his texts. You both need to grow up and simply move on.

Quote:
so how long should I do the nc rule?
I would suggest forever. But what do I know?
0 Replies
 
mystikmind
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Mar, 2019 07:34 pm
@Aa817,
Well, the issue here is you broke his trust with your flaky breakups.

Obviously he still has feelings for you which makes him act out in those ways, but his logical side is telling him that you cannot be trusted with his heart, and i would fully agree with him if i was in his position!
0 Replies
 
 

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