Fri 25 Feb, 2005 08:51 pm
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen. Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine?
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine.
She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f**k off the car!"
Three nuns were walking down the street when a man in a long trench coat approached them. The man flashed the nuns after which the first nun had a stroke. Then the second nun had a stroke. But, the first nun wouldn't touch him.
What's black and white black and white black and white black and white black and white?
A nun falling down the steps.
What kind of meat do priests eat?
There were 4 nuns that died and went to Heaven. They all met up at the pearly gates. St. Peter was there waiting on them to lead them through.
As he approached...he asked the nuns.."Ladies, Theres something I must know before you pass on through the gates...Have you ever touched a mans organ?"
Shocked looks on thier faces...the first nun spoke up and said,.."Yes..with the tip of my finger".
St. Peter told her..."Dip it in Holy Water and Pass on through."
The 2nd Nun looked kinda sheepishly at St. Peter and answered him, "Yea...held it in the palm of my hand once."
"Dip it in Holy Water and pass on through", St. Peter told her.
In the meantime...the 3rd and 4th Nun were rolling around on the ground fist fighting. St. Peter tried to break them apart...he's hollering, "Ladies..LADIES...what seems to be the problem?"
The 4th nun harped up.."I'm going to get to gargle with it, before she sticks dips her ass in it!"
Two nuns are bicycling down a cobblestone street.
The first one says to the other "I haven't come this way before."
The second one replies "I know. It's the cobbles."