The complete 'Metal Machine Music' by Lou Reed, because they would all have to stand around and be tortured by it.As for an epitaph...maybe "This space for rent", or "Honk if you really believe in an afterlife."
Pictures from my life:
Her: "Yeah, right you made that chocolate cheesecake."
Me: "I did, I'm a chef."
<she looks in the box and notices that it clearly looks homemade>
Her: "I hate cheesecake."
Me: "Well, you've never had mine."
<has a taste>
Her: "The chocolate isn't Belgian, is it?"
Me: "No actually, it's French."
Her: "I knew it, because if it was Belgian I'd be orgasming all over the table right now."
Guess what? We're married now. She asked me out, when we were both studying martial arts. Just for some coffee, a beer, some pool, aloof me says, "Sure, that sounds great, but I have to wait for Anya." She thought I had something going on with Anya, but that wasn't true. She also thought I hated her because of the way I looked at her, but I was just checking her out. Point is....if she hadn't made the first move, I would have no wife today. Just ask the dude out.
I think Sugar once again has been very relevant, especially with her moral. I also think she and Mrs. cav share a soul, but that's another story.
Mrs. cav was interested in me, and I liked her just fine too, but we were pretty much strangers. Thing was, she thought I hated her, because of my generally aloof manner, and occasionally penetrating glare (so she says....I was just looking at her in an admiring way, to the best of my ability). We met at a martial arts school, so the situation was social, like uni. The school had a pot-luck gathering and I made a chocolate cheescake, which I brought in a proper bakery box, as I was selling baked goods at the time. She looked at the box and said "What is it?" I said "Chocolate cheesecake, I made it." She said "No you didn't. I see the box." (Okay, at this point, I am getting a little pissed off, but I am stubborn) "I have my own catering company, that's why I have the box." She says: "Well, I hate cheesecake anyway." I say, "You haven't tried mine, have you?"
When the desserts were served, she did indeed try some of my chocolate cheesecake. She pondered for a bit, then asked me "This isn't Belgian chocolate, is it?" I said "No, actually, it's French." She said "I knew it wasn't Belgian because if it had been, I would be orgasming all over the table right now."
Well....the rest as they say is history. Moral: Often love hits you when you least expect it. Try to force it, it won't happen.
Mrs. cav says: "Umm, do you want to go for a coffee or somthing?"
"Well, I'm waiting for Anya [she was a student who was afraid of being attacked while walking home]"
"Oh...okay."
"Hey, why don't we all walk together, then you and I can go out somewhere."
"7 West? That's nearby. I feel so weird in this 'Temple Knights' t-shirt."
"So do I. Who cares anyway? 7 West sounds good."
We meet, have some drinks, play some pool...
"I'm working at the Four Seasons tonight, but usually we get together with the guys afterwards for a drink and a bit of pool at Scallywags, right next door. You want to meet me there?"
"Yeah, sure."
I work my shift. I go to Scallywags with Brynn, the Welsh sous chef. Mrs. cav shows up in this skimpy black dress, looking gorgeous....having only ever seen her in Tai Chi pants and a non form fitting t-shirt, my eyes are popping out of my head.
We chat, she tells me things about herself that would send most men away screaming. Brynn, in fact, left the scene, but did compliment me on my taste. Somehow, I am intrigued. Pretty, and direct.
We return to her place, polish off a bottle of wine, and I say "Can I kiss you?"
Oh, the blushing....then "Yes, of course." We snog for a while, then I say "Can I draw you a bath?"
<adult content>
The next day she says "This is strange."
"What is"
"Well, I don't want to kick you out...also, I thought you liked Anya?"
Aww, such a charmer....to quote myself, the rest, as they say, is history.
