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my boyfriend got handjob and blow**b from somewhere else

 
 
Reply Thu 17 May, 2018 12:05 am
So i'm in a long distance relationship, one day my boyfriend got handjob and blow**b from a massage 'plus-plus' bcs at that time he really can't handle his needs and we live in different city. i really don't know what to do, i don't want to breakup but.. what should i do?
 
najmelliw
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 May, 2018 07:31 am
@markiepooeh,
In my opinion, you shouldn't try to hold on to this guy, as this might happen again: it's a big problem with long distance relationships. And if he likes to get his jollies in some other way, despite being in a committed relationship with you, he just might not be worth the effort.

Anyway, I see four options:
1. Move closer to him (or him closer to you).
2. Talk it out,
3. Break it off.
4. Ignore it, chalk it up to long distance

Assuming the first isn't possible, if you want to hang on to him, then talk it out. Ignoring this will only cause more of the same down the line.

CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 May, 2018 08:18 am
@markiepooeh,
If you are content knowing that your BF is getting blowjobs and handjobs from other women, then it looks like you have found a keeper. Of course, he should also be fine with you giving blowjobs and handjobs to other guys, but something tells me he would not be happy with that.

Dump him. He is not committed to you. And after all, isn't that what your want and deserve? Someone who is committed to you? (As stated in the previous post, this is an inherent issue in many long distance relationships and why they often do not work out.)

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Thu 17 May, 2018 08:40 am
@markiepooeh,
Lots of questions for me here.

Were you ever in a relationship with this guy where you were in the same city?

How long have you been in this relationship?

How often do you see each other in person?

Have you discussed sexual fidelity and what it means to both of you?

What do you do together sexually in your ldr? do you take advantage of skype and the like?

__

I've been in a few long-distance relationships over the decades. Sexual fidelity is not something that matters greatly to me - as long as the partners are honest about where they stand on things. I've been in relationships where that worked out well and some where the other person didn't share my views on how ldrs could work.

You guys have to talk it out and figure out where you both stand on things.

___

your bf gets bonus points from me for being honest with you about the plus plus massage
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 May, 2018 08:42 am
@najmelliw,
najmelliw wrote:


Anyway, I see four options:
1. Move closer to him (or him closer to you).
2. Talk it out,
3. Break it off.
4. Ignore it, chalk it up to long distance



whichever way it works out, I think talking is the key
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 May, 2018 09:05 am
In Spanish, there is a great phrase: "Amores lejos, felices los cuatro". It's an old saying that was recently made into a hit song. It means roughly... in long-distance love, four people are happy.

If you have no sexual contact with other people, a long distance relationship is just a form of celibacy. As in any relationship, you should talk honestly about what you need in the relationship... and remember that his needs are equally important.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 May, 2018 09:13 pm
Is this the inter-racial relationship - him 30 and you 23? that you complained about his mother still trying to fix him up with other girls?

You didn’t tell us it was LD.

End this. It’s not going to work unless you move in with him.

0 Replies
 
Agent1741
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 May, 2018 10:03 pm
@markiepooeh,
If he can do it once he can do it again!! It would appear it does not bother him, just you!! Personally I would advise letting it go, there are plenty more fish in the sea. Try to find someone nearby
0 Replies
 
 

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