What do i do? Do I just forget all my feelings? Or do I chase after him?

Ughhh I'm sooo confused and I need serious advice, I'm a girl who dates guys and if we break up then we break up and I move on with my life but a couple months ago I did a dare, now that I think about it, it was a pretty stupid thing to do, but I did it anyways, i made a reddit account and wrote a very um let's just say dirty post, and I posted it and for the first 2-3 times I had to keep rewording it because they kept removing my post for bad behavior so finally I got a post that was still dirty yet followed there rules and I had linked my Snapchat on the post so a few perverts contacted me and then a few hours later a guy added me on Snapchat so I added him back, i honestly just figured he was a pervert too but I started texting him and I realized he was actually a good guy and so we talked all night and by the end of the night I was hooked and so we started talking more and more and more and eventually started talking on the phone everyday and night and when you talk to someone so consistently your bound to have feelings and he was always there for me, and made me feel good, told me how special I was and how I deserved the world, the way I feel about him is just so intense that it's like fireworks exploding inside me and electricity shooting through my body, and i have this warm feeling in my stomach and i feel like i have butterflies inside me, not even words can explain what I feel for him, i think about him and my whole body speeds up and my heartbeat goes crazy and I think about someone else my body slows down and so does my heartbeat, he gives me chills in my bones and it feels so good, i have no physical attraction or sexual attraction toward anybody except him and my body is going crazy just from writing how I feel about him but there's just one problem, he's gone, we broke off, more like he broke it off, it wasn't official but it still hurt like ******* hell to lose him, i would text him and he wouldn't respond for maybe a half a week or a full one and there were a couple of times where I got upset but I didn't mind because just knowing that he felt the same way was enough for me and one of the main reasons we broke up was because he was always busy, it got to the point where making time for me wasn't an option but I love him so I was willing to wait but he wasn't having it, he kept telling me to stop caring about him, and to just stop trying and how it would just be better if we stopped talking and the second he said that, my heart dropped and fell and broke into a million pieces, but I kept trying, i ignored him telling me to stop, i continued to try and try but he didn't care, he told me I was disillusioned with him and all kinds of other things about how I deserved better but I honestly don't want better I want him that's what I want and that's what I need but he didn't care, and he didn't listen, he did what he thought was best and not what I wanted because sometimes what we want and what we deserve are two very different things, he ended up telling to stop or he would end all contact so I just started crying and crying until i couldn't cry and more, until my eyes were bloodshot, until I couldn't breath, i got so upset that I just made a list of all the reasons why he doesn't care about me and I deleted him of Snapchat and I went to Instagram and I just couldn't delete him off there, idk why I couldn't but my mind wouldn't let me so I kept him on there and like 2-3 months later, i wanted any excuse to talk to him, i missed him so much and all I had been doing was crying so I noticed I still had his messages in my dm so I tried to delete them off and it wouldnt let me so I texted him and asked him how to delete them and he said just delete the conversation, I know it's wrong but it felt nice just knowing that he was actually talking to me so I said okay and that was the end of the conversation and then later on I just couldn't do it anymore and I told him I missed him and he blocked me and I just can't do it anymore, i don't know what to do with myself, i miss him so much, i love him and I don't know how to make these feelings disappear, I'm so tired of crying, what do I do?