You don't have to "stop caring." You can either 1)cling to the past and moon over lost love, or 2)move forward.
A certain amount of mourning over a lost relationship is normal. However, you're making this much harder on yourself than what is necessary. Allowing the unhappiness of a lost love to occupy your every waking moment is UNHEALTHY.
Eventually, you need to accept that the relationship is OVER. You can be happy today, if you want to be. You can be happy tomorrow, if you want to be. If you choose to cling to the unhappiness of yesterday and continue to moon over someone you can't have, you're sacrificing your present and your future.
It's not cold hearted to choose to move forward.
Debra, that's a great truth.. I love that post
Thanks guys for all your input. Ive been getting better and came to the conclusion that I'm better off without her. She has some MAJOR issues that she has to work out herself. At this point, all I can do is step back from it all and look towards brighter future =)
After about 4 months being broken up, I see now that she is not right for me. Her lifestyle's different and there's something about her I find just plain SCARY - like a hidden side she shows only a few people she is close with. She seems very self centered. Like for one, she asked me to call her because she wanted to "catch up" but she did it because she wasn't allowed to go out that night and was bored. I guess I look back and just really feel used sometimes.
We still keep in touch, but we sorta made the mistake about talking about what happened between us months ago, of which she still blames me for everything.
At times I still do miss the times we've spent together, the smile I brought to her face just by being there, the feeling I got from being wanted. Sometimes I miss the sound of her voice and wonder what if? But I've come to the stark realization that this is what was meant to happen and it's best to put to bed my problems. I will always love her for who she is, but as a best friend.
THat's good, you're now going through the "she was nuts anyway"phase that us blokes do when we split up with someone. Doesn't matter whether we instigate it or not, after a while we come to understand that she was crazy, flawed, nutty and what the heck did we see in her in the first place? I suppose women might feel like that too but since I'm a bloke......
Now let her get on with her life and you get on with yours. And remember, there is never any going back.
Think of it as a learning experience. Try to remember what you learnt about yourself and people from all this.
It is easy to look at her in a negative light now, but obviously there was something which you liked in her that drew you to her in the first place. Appreciate that but dont let it take you back in time.
Good luck !
No I appreciate her for who she is. She's a very loving person and I can see why I fell for her. But out of all this, she's not right for me and during the time when we were going out, I had a nagging suspicion this wasn't supposed to be. Though I must say, it was a great 3.5 months.
I guess at this point, I'm still kinda mad at myself for getting into a short-term relationship without actually thinking if it would work out. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache.
