what are the best comeback replies to defend an insult/troll/ bully?

Yes

I get tars for my car and awl for my engine.

When I lived in Tulsa, I went into Oklahoma Tire and Supply and asked for prices on tires. The guy adjusted his little bow tie and thumbed through his massive catalog (this was circa 1975). I understood the problem, leaned over the counter and said I wanted to buy some TARS. Boy, did he know what to do then.

I’ve been saying insurance with the accent on the first syllable for at
least 2 decades now.

I also learned to say pecan in a way that doesn’t sound like i’m talking about a tin for urine.

Does your truck sound like a pee cup?

Maybe when i’m In Mexico

I had a neighbor kid make fun of me for calling 'aigs' eggs.

How strange. We have derailed a thread about smacking down trolls and bullies, with a pleasant talk where everyone is joking being nice to each other...

Weird, huh?

You are from Texas.

I don't often give advice, but this is what has worked for me in the past:

If you're in a real life situation, unless you're looking for escalation, i find it easier to to confront the statement head on for what it is and tell the person to stop, ie: "please, stop being an asshole." (Or if you need to be polite for professional reasons, whatever you think the appropriate version of "hey, don't be an asshole" happens to be. But I think that addressing the provocation, rather than the specific wording is important.) If they continue, or anyone eggs them on, then leave that group until they make it clear that the behavior won't be tolerated going forward. (This is obviously advice intended for a casual social event, rather than a "professionally advisable" one. If your career is involved these sorts of situations become more complicated, and you are the best judge of the response.)

If you're really talking about online interactions, i find the best counter-troll is to look up their tl, and to quote something ridiculous they've written recently and say something like, "the guy who just said X to me also said Y". Tag friends and allies in the post, or pm your friends, or forward the exchange to include it on a celebs timeline, or whatever; online trolls target you because they think you're isolated, if your friends show up, or even if just those who are of a similar opinion show up, they buckle like a belt...

It depends on the insult, but by default the best answer to the fool is silence.

Show them some manners first though. If they persist, then it's established they're a fool.

mark

Here's what I have to say to you, RealMusic -- bugger off with your stupid spamming on this site.

1. What are you talking about?

2. I went back to some old threads that interest me.

3. I place a book-mark on those threads, so I can post on them over the next few days.

4. The book-marks are for me and reminds me what threads I want to post on.

5. Maybe I could have went about it in a different way.

6. I just found this way to be the easiest.

Yes, that is kind of nice to see.

Rational, touchy and feely:
We encounter all kinds of people in this world, no matter in the local social community or in broader social community or in cyber ones, with all kinds of minds / thoughts / psychology / consciousness types / behaviors.
Some of them are friendly and kind – hearted and benevolent;
Some of them are apathetic;
Some of them are malicious;
Some of them are wise and rational;
Some of them are silly and stubborn;
Some of them are arrogant and extreme;
…, etc…
Sometimes other persons might do something obviously harmful to you, while he / she thought that what they did was correct. This could be considered as defect of consciousness. Of course, sometimes they might be unintentionally / occasionally.
The boring situation could be that some “ambitious” guys might plot to replace G* / Lord of creature and to CONTROL this cosmos. They might attack you and force you to agree entirely with their view and accept their limitation. Some of such guys might be powers society and then it’s about conquest and order. Some of such guys might be pure DREAMER, that kind should be mandatory closed in metal hospital and take deep treatment. Don’t underestimate the damage of such perhaps profoundly sick in the mind guy, one enough to destroy a community. Bounce…
Some guys might have obscure purposes, such as sabotage your effort, intentionally consuming your time and energy, plot to “grind you down”, etc… Such evil behaviors would also plague the community.
Not everyone in this world try to do good things. Some are pure conspirators.
…
When you are facing such miscellaneous disturbance, how do you deal with them?
Argue or have a row with them all day all night? Then, you just fall into their trap. Some rational guys adopt such attitude of ignorance.
Avoid trouble could be appropriate method. Treasure your time. Concentrate on doing your own meaningful things and live your normal life.
Create new achievement might be the best replay to those social scum.
All behaviors are under public review.
Making friends and have a chat might be a good thing. A bit consensus from a friend might be a bliss for you and could be considered as G*’s grant.

Thank you, guys.

I appreciate your posts, RM, I bet deep down inside Mame does, too.

Especially if they're bigger, in a group or armed. Extra point if all three.