in to something that's not really good for me.

O'Bill has the right of it. Leave rescue work to the Salvation Army and get to safety yourself. You can't change him--he has to change himself and he has to want to change.

You see way more than cracks in a facade, tagged_lyricist. You see a despicable pig. No kidding. I can understand how, knowing him for so long, you don't WANT to see a despicable pig, but it's better to face the facts now than from your wheelchair after you can't even walk because of him.

You poor kitten, you obviously know this but need to think a bit more about it. Imagine a man who was hit this way by a woman. Do you think he'd be asking us, "Should I try to help her?"

I get the impression you like them "bad boys." So did I, long ago, so I can understand your attraction. But, really, find yourself a REAL criminal, if that's what you want, not a weak wimpy half-assed criminal like this one.

Cripes, and I thought I didn't like this guy BEFORE!

you are all right anyway I'm gonna go watch my favourtie movie again taxi driver, and feel very lonely.

Good for you, woman....but no need to feel lonely! We're always here if you need us.

I'd rather not dilute my remarks or advice any further with any undue compassion at this time (tagging off to the kinder, gentler people). I look forward to giving you the virtual high five, but not until you earn it. You get your first one when you announce you're done with this BS (and mean it). You're talking like someone who won't and that just makes me sad. Perhaps you can tell me what it would take to convince someone in your shoes to wake up? I've never had the right words yet so I'd be very, very grateful.

Ps. Just caught that lonely stuff. Cry your friggin eyes out at how unfair it is that this guy has to be a hopeless loser... and don't stop crying till your finished. Let your tears wash away the last of your hope that this idiocy will correct itself, because it won't... and you know it… but you can't get past it until you accept it.

I saw your generous post over on Daizi's thread and it made me smile. Your continued recognition of your own predicament is tantamount to healing. Do note that her guy sounds like an absolute doll compared to the loser you've fallen for. I don't mean to be harsh or to rub it in and I certainly wouldn't want to drum up any sympathy for the self-worshipping A-hole... I'm just very much looking forward to reading how you left him behind and what you're going to do for you in the future. It's time for a change girl!

Jesus Christ and a couple of by God's.

You are not sounding like these abused people you despise, you are the Victim of abuse. IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE, or ARE you so Unique and special that it "won't happen to you, cause he's learned his lesson and he "LOVES" you. This jerk will be incapable of Love if he's not already.
I dont' even need to be on this thread. BYE YALL!

yeah okay but one thing I need to come clean about here, not so long ago I hit him (well punched him) so hard that he got welts on his arm, he never did antyhing about that. I mean I believe that there's a little bit of sickness here. I don't think it's the violence that scares me but rather my attitude towards it.

I'm glad you let us know that, tagged_lyricist, but it does not excuse his behavior, AT ALL! I still think he's a despicable pig.

You're dead-on right about your attitude being frightening. Were you by any chance raised in a violent environment?

What prompted you to hit him?

hm...

some time ago you hit him on the arm, so he can later hit you 4 times, enough to cause you to stumble?

I'm not buying the "fairness" of that. It's one thing to lose your cool and hit someone once; it's another thing to strike them a few times, and almost knock them down o_O

Your behaviour does NOT make his A-OK.


And well, you already know that you can't save him by now. Trust me, I've tried it so many times, and each time I was just left over and burned at the end. Losing your pride and self-respect for a downward spiral-er is never worth it. If he isn't open and willing to change himself for the better, no amount of sweet words you say will ever, ever do it. He will not "see the light" and become a new man unless HE discovers how he can. And judging from what you've said thus far, that is something that may never come, so don't bank on it happening.

OMG! That was so well put I think I'll put it on notecards to carry with me and pass out as needed. (with proper credit, of course)

Aw, thanks, Squinney....don't worry about the proper credit, as you'd have to say a Kitten said it anyway.

Her post really stuck with me; I thought about it all day. It was so....disheartening (er, is that a word?)

All I could think was something like (musical notes) "Reach out, reach out and FIX someone...."

No. I was thinking pathetic.

Idiots get a pass for idiotic excuses. The rest of us have the burden of facing reality. The reality is: this guy is a loser absent the abuse (with it; he's a total waste of oxygen). The really pathetic part is that she already knows this, but is desperate to find justification for continuing idiotic behavior.

How can it possibly make you feel cool to hang with someone who isn't?

err no rather what I'm saying here, to be fair is that I like it.. I mean it turns me on in some depraved fashion and hitting him turned me on too and well jesus whatever

tagged_lyricist, I think I asked this before, but were you raised in a violent environment? I ask because that could explain why you're stimulated by violence.

There are lots of folks who are into S&M as a sort of controlled game....perhaps you could find one of them? Then you don't have to (hopefully) risk your life to get what you want sexually.

This guy is a loser, but I don't think all people who are into S&M are losers. They may be just made differently than the rest of us.

I have a friend in San Francisco with a roommate who's a "Dominatrix." Her JOB is to dress up in black leather & dominate men. Now watch all the women who'll jump into this thread saying, "Oh, can I have that job?"