Am I cheating?

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I nearly kissed my best friends girlfriend, and I feel awful!

Okay so me and my best friends girlfriend have been friends for years. I’ve always thought she was attractive, but have never crossed any boundaries. I should probably also state that I have a girlfriend too - one that I’m madly in love with.

A few months back she came over mine to drop something off, and we ended up watching a movie and cuddling, briefly. I felt awful and stopped it all and sent her home.

Months passed and we kept texting. We still text now - but not inappropriately (unless we’re drunk).

We were out the other night and we were both wasted. We got a taxi back to where we live and started almost teasing eachother, she was basically begging me to kiss her, but I didn’t. After so many attempts of her asking me for a ‘peck’ I kissed her on the cheek and told her this isn’t what we want, and that it’s a horrible thing to do.

Another night out was on the cards this past weekend and she was out again. This time cocaine was involved, and that **** turns me into a literal demon. She was all over me, and the temptation was something I’ve never experienced before. We both went home in different taxis, and didn’t do anything. We’ve never kissed - only ever hugged.

However this night we started basically sexting. Only for about 20 minutes - I was completely off my bean fucked. She sent me a nude... as soon as it came though on my phone I literally just froze and deleted the chat. Whenever I try to suggest we stop she gets upset - I think she’s caught feelings for me. Obviously this has only happened a few times, and I’m in a happy relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my relationship in fact, and I love my girlfriend! So why is this happening? How do I stop? It’s so irritating. I don’t want to cut things off for her to then go and make something up that happened, which I believe she’s capable of.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

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[+4] - jespah - 04/04/2018[quote="HYNSEIGHT"] ... Iâ��m in a happy relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my relationship in fact, and I love my girlfriend! ...[/quote] I will now throw...

HYNSEIGHT wrote:

We were out the other night and we were both wasted.

HYNSEIGHT wrote:

This time cocaine was involved, and that **** turns me into a literal demon.

HYNSEIGHT wrote:

I was completely off my bean fucked.

Perhaps you shouldn't do drugs or drink so much, so that you never lose control like this.

HYNSEIGHT wrote:

How do I stop? It’s so irritating. I don’t want to cut things off for her to then go and make something up that happened, which I believe she’s capable of.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!

I'm generally not the wisest person here when it comes to relationships advice. So probably others will come along with better advice.

But it seems to me that if you want to protect against any damage caused by her making up an untrue story, you'll need to confide all of this with your girlfriend first. And then immediately after, make it absolutely clear to this other girl that you will not be having an affair with her.

Sooner is better. The longer you let this drag out, the worse it will be. This other girl will do more and more things that you will then have to confide in your girlfriend if you wait.

But maybe wait a few hours to see if anyone else here has better advice. Like I said, I'm not exactly "Mr. Relationships Guru".

One afterthought that probably isn't realistic, but just to throw it out there for consideration: you could try to set up a hidden camera and get video proof that she is the one who is trying to cheat.

You'll have to not be blackout drunk however if you do this.

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@HYNSEIGHT,

Hi,

I have to admit that you're dealing rather immaturely with this. Serious situations require drastic actions. You need to cut it off ! Every time you think of doing something think of the mess and the pain that you will cause to you and to those 2 people you care so much ( your girl and your best friend ). Don'y be that guy dude...you can do better.

Also...it sounds like you have a bit of an issue with drugs and maybe alcohol. Have you thought why you like getting smashed so much? Sounds like you're not happy with something from your "reality"

There is no magic pill here. You need to make a decision , take responsibility and change your song. I'm sorry that it sounds harsh but that's the way it is...

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@Sofos,

I couldn’t agree more, thanks for your reply. I don’t have a drug issue, I know it looks like it by the way I wrote that thread. I only ever do it when all my mates are - hardly ever. It’s just the last few weeks that I’ve been out a bit and these things have happened.

I’m definitely taking this advice on board!

Thanks

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@HYNSEIGHT,

HYNSEIGHT wrote:

...
I’m in a happy relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my relationship in fact, and I love my girlfriend! ...

I will now throw down the bullshit card.

I also agree with oralloy that you've got substance abuse issues that are most likely way worse than you're letting on. A night out should never be a 100% requirement that you get smashed beyond belief on a myriad of substances. This is bad for you, and deep down you probably know it.

But back to the relationship issues.

I keep seeing this, over and over again. I am going to go out on a limb and assume you are under the age of 35. Probably a lot younger. See, all in the name of "no sex unless it's with someone you love", the idea was to elevate sex. Instead, it's cheapened love. People say they love someone all the time and they have no concept whatsoever of what it truly means.

You're not acting loving in any manner if you are continually putting yourself voluntarily into such situations. Once I can almost see - **** happens. But this has gone on several times, and you're sexting. You aren't out of your mind on drink and/or drugs 24/7. Don't blame that. Instead, you are voluntarily getting yourself into these situations.

Take some responsibility for this. Your relationship is not perfect. It is not flawless. It is not fine. Because you wouldn't be continually tossing yourself into these situations if it was.

Talk to your girlfriend. Take the temperature of your relationship.

And for God's sake, if you cannot be faithful and if an open relationship is not in the cards, then be mature enough to let your girlfriend go so she can be with someone who will be able to be faithful. Don't waste her time while you dick around like this.

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You play with fire- then wonder why you get burned?

Wake up.

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@HYNSEIGHT,

I am wondering why you chose the heading " Am I cheating?"

You know that you are.

Do you think that until you have actual sex, you can not surely be cheating, as I mean it's only sexting, it's only a peck on the cheek, it's only a hug, it's only a cuddle, it's only receiving naked photos, it's only watching a movie together, it's only my best friend's girlfriend.

What a mess.

Your Bro will find out, she will tell him, your girlfriend will then find out and she will leave you.

Flirting and attractiveness to someone else, can happen whilst happy in a relationship, once you act on it, then you truly have to question as Jespah stated, how truly happy you are in your own relationship or how much you are truly giving to your relationship to feel the reality of love.

Going out and partying with the bro's so much, using cocaine, drinking, and she stays at home or is with some girlfriends, each time, yep great girlfriend, I mean she lets free with 'Trust' ................

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@HYNSEIGHT,

I'm curious about where your girlfriend is when you go out and end up hanging out with this other girl? And why would you invite this girl into your home to watch a movie (alone) with you knowing she is your best friend's girl and that you have a girlfriend (who likely would not like the idea of you and this girl being alone together.)

I'm with others here who think you may need to examine your current relationship with your girlfriend.

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Am I cheating?

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