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I am feeling confused,should I be concerned?

 
 
katya07
 
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 08:32 am
Ok so as I have mentioned in previous posts (Please read them so you can understand this post!), I am going out with a 46 year old man divorce(he was married for 10 years) and I am turning 30, I have been feeling this weird gut,anxiety sensation, she did not send me a message yesterday,on Thursday was he last message for me at 9:32pm at night congratulating me for Womans day, I answered him back saying ''thank you sweetheart, wanna hug you'' , and you know when he read the message!!! yesterday at night, the to ticks were blue,,I don't know if he is already feeling some type of way, or is he genuinely busy do to the fact that he is changing jobs and starting this Monday, maybe his ex wife, I really don't know.

I am feeling anxious due to all of this, and I am even questioning myself if all of this is a good idea. Maybe I am wasting my time with him, I just feel scared and anxious that this person is not who he says he is, or what I am seeing with my own eyes.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,046 • Replies: 12
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neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 04:18 pm
@katya07,
Do you also feel the sun rise and set should revolve around you too? How about the moon? Throw in the sun, as well. Hell, throw in the universe that should revolve around Katya07. Because, Lord knows, NOBODY has ANYTHING going on that's more important than YOU.

**** the man's job, it's just his livelihood that pays for his apartment, food on the table and, you know, his support for his CHILDREN. Speaking of his children, **** them too. Ain't nobody got time for that **** because YOU take all the precedence over EVERYTHING. **** spending time and nurturing his own flesh and blood. How DARE he put you LAST, knowing it's been what, 6-7 weeks and FIVE different postings about how it's just soooooo confusing for a mature, almost 30 yr old woman to understand.

**** trying to, you know, communicate in a semblance of an orderly thought that may, possibly, put you know, REASON, into this scenario.

Are you sure this man is even capable of handling a person like you? You know, like the kind of person who is a perpetual child and thinks the worst about everything and everybody. A person who won't stop to consider trying to better themselves, in order to make sure there's constant strife in every single relationship that they have? Yeah, YOU need to dump this guy. He sounds like a real loser when he put his responsibilities for his life and children before YOU.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 05:44 pm
@neptuneblue,
What do you hope to achieve out of such a post? Is a person who suffers anxiety going to get the message you want them to get? Or are they going to suffer more anxiety from your volatile post?
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 05:51 pm
@vikorr,
Surely you jest. OP doesn't suffer from anxiety, she suffers from immaturity.

0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 06:07 pm
@vikorr,
vikorr, this person starts up silly meaningless threads like this on an almost daily basis.

I am very sure it's all made up.

I was hoping no one would respond, as many it would give this troll enough disattention.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 06:11 pm
@katya07,
Unless you have a strong sense of self / a very good understanding of who you are deep inside, anxiety almost always steers you wrong, because such anxiety is founded in:
- your insecurity
- your fears relating to your own worthiness
- your fears about other peoples motivations

And these things lead to us wanting more frequent validation.

The thing is - they rarely relate to the other person, but to our own issues. So the question as relates to your situation ends up being - why does your anxiety have any bearing on his worthiness?

The achieve the opposite, one must grow their sense of self / increase their understanding of who they are / work to increase their self esteem. All of these reduce anxiety. It is unfortunate that here in the west, we as a society place little to no true value on these things, and have widespread systems and ideas that undermine them.


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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 06:13 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
vikorr, this person starts up silly meaningless threads like this on an almost daily basis.

I am very sure it's all made up.

I was hoping no one would respond, as many it would give this troll enough disattention.
I've seen a number of her posts (not all). The thing is, I've known a number of people who suffer anxiety (from mild to severe), and her posts are not too out of character for severe anxiety sufferers.

In any event, as I haven't seen them all, you may be right.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 06:18 pm
@vikorr,
I am right.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 09:56 pm
@chai2,
You have displayed numerous times on this board a determination to stand by your own calls, so I'm sure you'll understand when I say you may be right Very Happy
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Mar, 2018 11:36 pm
@vikorr,
Funny.

When confidence in one's abilities of perception, or in functioning in general, is discussed in the abstract, it's seen as a positive.

However, when confronted with it in reality, it's seen as a negative, especially when it's directed to an individual.

Believe in yourself! Use your brain and observe evidence as predictive of future behavior....oh wait, I don't like what you're saying, so it doesn't count.

This person has created more than one account to winge about the same thing, creates outlandish situations, and basically has nothing better to do with their time. I'm fairly confident this isn't even a 30 year old. More like a 13 year old.

Yep, I understand you only admire determination from a safe distance.

There is no recently divorced 46 year old married man, ex wife, or 30 year old...just some kid making **** up.



vikorr
 
  0  
Reply Sun 11 Mar, 2018 03:09 am
@chai2,
Quote:
However, when confronted with it in reality, it's seen as a negative, especially when it's directed to an individual.
Not at all. Such is only a negative when ones judgement is blindly adhered too. Otherwise it's a positive. Who it's aimed at is irrelevant.

And as you do show that determination...I'm sure you understand why others don't blindly accept your perception, but rather use their own judgement from things they see. So again, you may be right.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sun 11 Mar, 2018 07:43 am
@vikorr,
I’m far from blind. I’m quite observant.

vikorr
 
  0  
Reply Sun 11 Mar, 2018 12:18 pm
@chai2,
I make a neutral statement about what makes a negative or positive - in response to you complaining it's a negative when directed at a person - and you believe I am calling you blind? Perhaps you need to ask yourself why, for I haven't done so.

In both my previous posts I said may be right. In other words, I have withheld my judgement on the poster until I have more information that I see for myself. How that could possibly end up with you perceiving it to be a claim of you being blind, I don't know.


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