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Is that normal to want my wife to pratice an open marriage?

 
 
caid
 
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 06:41 pm
First i need to tell you that i am freshly married with my wife, she is a bit older than me but i am the one that look older. i have a good job, a house and a nice car (it's getting old but i am attached to that car). in other word, i am well established in life.

my wife is now 30, she is chinese, i meet her on a dating website. i was in that website because i was a bit lonely and i have a taste for the asian. my wife is fluent in english and to be honest, i knew at the first glance that she was actually working at luring the men to stay in the website as it was a paying website. she was selling her time and romance, not the sexuality. there was no nudity in what she was doing. i soon asked her to contact me on Skype so i wouldn't have to pay the website to talk to her. i used a free trial of 20min to contact her and never pay anything after. she was nice and pretty to look upon. she was also secretly looking for a bf on the website and she admit me that there was almost no men under 50 in that website. so as my age was close to her age and i was well established already, i pick her attention. to be clear, she wasn't a gold digger looking for a suggar daddy. it's just she wouldn't even consider a man that cannot affort her to come in china to meet her or allow her to have a decent life once she move in another country. once i pass that requirement and talked to her frequently for over a year, i went to meet her in real and everything went well. she come to my country later to meet me and after a few travel to one side to another, we finally go married a few month ago.

the thing is after we got married, she returned to her country for a few month. as we built our relation with the distance always comming back, we aren't feeling less in love without the other one around. we do not even feel we are far aways. loyal to each other. but recently i started to have that fantasy that my wife, who didn't had much love experience before me, may want to try to be with another men out of curiosity. i mean, it would only be normal to experiment a bit the sex life as she didn't had more than 2-3 men in bed before me and none of them really had skill. me i like to make love, i do not do it much for myself i enjoy it much more when i satisfy my partner. and i am very concern about making my wife happy in bed. not that i do not perform well, quite to opposite. she is very happy of my performance there. my kissing skill are a bit of my weakness but the rest is really good according of her impression. but i would like to start to get her in bed with me and maybe someone else just to experiment it.

i asked her many time if she ever had desire for someone else than me, no matter who. she is very traditional on that matter and keep answering that i am the only one. but i told her that i may like to have a threesome with her. 2 men and her of course. at first she was a bit surprise and was expecting me to ask to have a threesome with 2 girl and me in return but that wasn't my plan even if i would indeed like it. what i was thinking is about her be more open about our sexlife and introducing a 3rd persone in our sexlife is a way for me to make her happy. if she is happy, i am happy. just imagining her with another man make me existed to be honest. it's a bit weird to feel like that as i can also be jealous to see her talking with another man. but i would really love it all the same. i told her that i would allow her to have 1-2 lover other than me as long she remain true to me. in other word i was telling her to not retrain herself and sleep with other man if she want. the only thing she need to do is to keep loving me as her husband.

after a few talk about it, she finally start to trust that i do not want anything in return and admit that she may want to try it step by step. like inviting a friend and maybe start to have intimate forplay while he is there and invite him to caress my wife or something like that. it's something i want to explore while we are fairly young. she is 30 and i am nearly 30. so we still have a good sexlife. it's a bit weird to want to do those kind of stuff like that but for me, this is only a proff of the trust and the love we have for each other. while she is allow to have other men, she told me that she couldn't accept me to be with other girls. it's not a very fair arrangement.

is that normal to want my wife to have lovers? should i be jealous of it or ask her to let me do the same?
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 06:49 pm
@caid,
caid wrote:
we finally go married a few month ago.

the thing is after we got married, she returned to her country for a few month.


you've been married a few months and she's lived in her home country for a few months since you got married?

maybe you guys should try getting used to being together as a couple for a while before you start switching things up too much sexually

you really don't have a very solid base yet

Is she living with you now?
caid
 
  1  
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 06:51 pm
@ehBeth,
we spend the last 2 year together before getting married. she return to china to see her family for 3month before coming back
ehBeth
 
  1  
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 06:59 pm
@caid,
Where is she now?

caid
 
  1  
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 07:05 pm
@ehBeth,
in china, but she is coming back in 5 days
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 07:30 pm
@caid,
caid wrote:
while she is allow to have other men, she told me that she couldn't accept me to be with other girls. it's not a very fair arrangement.


she isn't allowed to have other men - you're the one who wants her to be with other men

___


you've manipulated your wife into considering something she doesn't really want to do and you think she is being unfair?

you need to think about all of this some more

leave her alone about this for awhile

if she brings it up for discussion then be ready to talk about all of it
caid
 
  0  
Tue 6 Mar, 2018 09:15 pm
@ehBeth,
well, she mention it even tonight. she is curious about it but do not want her to be the first to initiate it because she is shy
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Wed 7 Mar, 2018 07:30 am
Why do I think this is either an effort to in a closeted way experience gay voyeurism or a thinly veiled attempt to get permission to cheat with either women or men?
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Wed 7 Mar, 2018 09:18 am
@caid,
Quote:
is that normal to want my wife to have lovers?


Quote:
norĀ·mal
adjective
adjective: normal

1. conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.


Based on the definition of normal, it is my opinion that the answer to your question is no, it is not normal to want your wife to have other lovers.

0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Thu 8 Mar, 2018 10:34 am
@caid,
caid wrote:

she is 30 and i am nearly 30. so we still have a good sexlife. it's a bit weird to want to do those kind of stuff like that but for me, this is only a proff of the trust and the love we have for each other.


I question your ideal of "proof of trust and love" means she HAS to have sex outside the marriage to indulge your fantasy. In reality, it seems more like you're haranguing her to prostitute herself for your own satisfaction.

You have asked multiple times and multiple times she has said no. But you won't give up on the "I don't want anything in return" story. That's a lie. If you were telling the truth, the arrangement of a one sided affair would be enough for you. But it isn't.

It doesn't seem like you want this marriage at all. You found the most horrific way to "prove" love and trust. It's actually quite sickening to read how you'll destroy the marriage and her in the process, just for a fantasy.

If you want to have sex outside your marriage, own it.
0 Replies
 
TheCobbler
 
  1  
Sun 11 Mar, 2018 01:53 pm
If she says yes, you are both adults and can decide for yourselves but maybe you should just both pour yourselves a nice tall glass of herpes and drink it...

It's quicker...
0 Replies
 
nononono
 
  0  
Wed 21 Mar, 2018 03:25 pm
@caid,
Quote:
Is that normal to want my wife to pratice an open marriage?


No. It's not normal.

You're a cuckold.

I believe the kids these days would call you a cuck.
0 Replies
 
nononono
 
  -3  
Wed 21 Mar, 2018 03:36 pm
@jespah,
i voted down your post jespah. Mainly because I don't like you.
jespah
 
  3  
Wed 21 Mar, 2018 03:37 pm
@nononono,
I'm glad you're enjoying the site.
nononono
 
  -4  
Wed 21 Mar, 2018 03:42 pm
@jespah,
I'm glad you're enjoying being unprofessional.
0 Replies
 
oralloy
 
  -2  
Wed 21 Mar, 2018 07:12 pm
Good grief. Perhaps there should be some sort of communication between nononono and the moderators regarding why his post was unacceptable in the eyes of the moderators. And how the moderators feel that it differs from other posts that they find acceptable but nononono thinks are fundamentally the same as his post.

I'll leave it up to either nononono or the moderators to initiate this conversation if they think it's a good idea. Just throwing the idea out there for consideration.
0 Replies
 
Old Guy
 
  -1  
Sat 8 Oct, 2022 06:22 am
@ehBeth,
"Normal" according to who. I've been married for over five decades and went through almost the same thing, but for the immigration issues. I understand your concerns. I now know about myself from my sex experience and education, and I am educated in social sciences, including psychology relating to sexual behavior.
You cannot undo becoming a cuckold once you become a cuckold, and I did choose to share my wife more than once; only once did she admit to making me a cuck.
When we got into the world of cuckold sex, I was high libido and, as usual, was prone to pre-ejaculation. You can "wear out the pole and not the hole." She was attractive in her own way, petite like an Asian, and therefore beautiful to both young men and older men as a potential sex partner. Overall, there's much less of a problem finding a male to service your wife than you finding another woman to serve you unless you meet the cultural definition of "stud" and such, the Hollywood guys.
Pregnancy was never an issue because I had a vasectomy at 25, and she had a hysterectomy later to save her life. The vasectomy, as it turned out, increased my sex drive. Ya, I wanted her to have sex with other men so long as I was in control, voyeur-like. I did not need to watch, just enjoyed the story and the differences between us. If she had wanted me to watch and play a part, I suppose I would have.
HIV was an issue back then too, but she selected a coworker on her shift, a man she worked alone with and appeared as someone clean, matching her desires.
There's much more to this story, and I will share it here or at another venue, even by email. Think it through; besides, it may be too late. You could be a cuckold, not considering how long she disappears. My wife did the same to visit relatives too. It's part of life in the jet age.
Last, her escapades that I know about became my favorite go-to fantasies as I masturbate in my old age. Off-topic, are you not thankful that you live in the Internet age and can learn what "Normal" means? Your keyword search ought to be these: cuckold, cuck, voyuer, voyuerism, swinging, and so on.
0 Replies
 
 

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