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Tue 1 Feb, 2005 09:17 am
An Agnostic in the Woods (special for Frank Apisa)
An agnostic was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!" "What powerful rivers!" "What beautiful animals!" He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again. The bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the agnostic cried out, "Oh my God!!!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, an enormous voice came out of the sky, "You question my existence for all these years, criticize those who believe I exist, calling them "dreamers," and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The agnostic looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
since when does god save people from bears?
That's not fair to the bear, anyways.
Absolutely loved it. It caused outright prolonged laughter.
Loved it, Ti.
But I gotta confess that I heard it before.
It was an atheist running through the forest when I heard it.
Thanks for thinking of me.
Thanks for taking the time to tailor it for me.
It is nice to be loved. :wink:
Here's one you may enjoy, Ti:
QUESTION:
How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative?
ANSWER:
Easy. Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore.
The conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout "swim for it!"
The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, and go off to do another good deed.
Stumble It!
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