I see what you're saying but I think you are taking some of what I said out of context. I tried to make it clear that from my experience and what I've seen of kids at that age is that they are focused on image. I'm not saying this is for all. Your daughter gives a good example of someone who doesn't follow along with the crowd just as I am sure there are many others like this. I just know many younger girls feel like it is taboo to be the ones who ask someone to dance or to "date." Once again I am not saying this is right or that is implies to all children I am just stating that this is what I have seen.
I don't think this is an act of sexism either. I was trying to convey that a way to combat sexism is to teach and educate children on respect, acceptance, and inclusion. I think taking away any genders (male, female, ect.) choice though, even if they are children, is still teaching the wrong message.
I also think the mother in the article was just upset that her daughter was forced to do something she didn't want to do. As a parent I would suspect you may understand the desire to protect and make your daughter happy and comfortable. Whether the mother in the article took it to far is up for each individual to decide but can you not understand where this parent is coming from? This is not an attack it is just a simple inquiry.
I also feel like there has always been a stereotype set for males and females even before the feminist movement began. Males are expected to be masculine, strong and unemotional while females are expected to be submissive, ladylike, and soft spoken. There are more gender stereotypes and when I list these I do not imply that this is what men and women are like, I simply wish to display unfair expectations placed on people because of their gender. To say feminists are the cause of these stereotypes or why boys and girls are expected to fit these stereotypes is unfair. We are all taught gender expectations, from our parents, school, friends, work, strangers, media, etc. Parents are the first people to imply gender stereotypes, not on purpose of course but that is what they were taught (along with all of us) to do. Does a parent treat their daughter exactly like they treat their son? I wouldn't expect them to but that is my very point. We don't treat them the same because different things are presumed of them. I'm not trying to blame anyone for stereotyping because we all do it. Our culture and society shapes us into who we are.
I also don't think a middle school dance is sexual assault either. I don't think that's what people were implying and if some were then they have it all wrong. Whoever insinuated that dance is sex is not understanding the meaning of sexual assault. However the way you say these things makes it sound, to me, like you are disregarding the seriousness of sexual assault. I may have read it wrong and I apologize if there is any misinterpretation.
I feel like it is pretty biased to say that feminists want to teach your daughter to be scared, aloof, victimized and unwilling to dance. To claim that only feminists are causing fear in girls is close minded. Nobody is born afraid we must be taught and women are taught at a young age. Women are taught to take precautions, stay in groups, plan ahead and to expect the worst. It is a sad reality but I cannot say that feminists are the sole reason for this. We all see the statistics for rape and sexual assault and as a result we try to teach our young women how to avoid such situations but what we teach them is to be afraid of the world. There is a difference between being sensible and being afraid. We all have a part to play in this sad reality. And when you state that women are taught to aloof and unwilling to dance I feel as if you are looking at feminism wrong. In truth there are many different types of feminism, many different theories. When you claim these things about feminists you focus on only a radical feminist view. Not all feminists believe the same things. There is intersectionality feminism, liberal feminism, atheist feminism, cultural feminism, marxist and socialist feminism, eco-feminism, and so many more. You generalize all feminists into a box when the feminist community is a diverse and ongoing thing. It is ongoing in the sense that new theories and ideas are being presented and each part is questioned to form better opinions.
I commend you on what you teach your daughter, all those things are very important. I just hope you can see that not all feminists want to teach girls that the world is bad and that men are out to get them. Each feminist theory has a different definition for feminism and what that looks like. For me I just wish for an end in oppression, but not just for women for everyone. I wish for a world where we all respected each other and where people wouldn't be put down based on what they look like or what their gender is (and the countless other things). There are a lot of things I wish for and as someone who associates with feminism and the feminist movement I just hope people can see that essentially feminism to is equality.
Feminism is not a political movement and those who use it as such are not presenting feminism in the correct light. Feminism is a social movement before a political one.
Thank you for sharing all your beliefs and I hope you do not take offense to what I said. I am not blaming you for anything and I respect your opinions and thank you for them. It is nice to speak to someone with different views on things and I can see how it has opened my mind and broadened my perspective. I hold to my opinions but I see where yours are just as valid and hold merit.