first heartbreak :(

Shanaynay--

We're here when you want to vent.

Enjoy yourself this evening. One of the great parts of Nights Out With the Girls is that you don't have to worry about tender male egos--not what they think, not what they feel. You can just be you.

Enjoy!

And a girls night out means giggling, flirting and enjoying the eye candy (the hot guys) without having to worry about anything. You can meet, flirt, dance, chat with the guys and then say "see ya"! That was always my favorite part of girls night out. The 3 hour relationship.

girls night out was SOOO much fun. we met up at IHOP with my sister and her friend and there was this huge group of guys. i got a couple guys phone numbers...it was great. but although it was a great night..i did feel bad about getting the guys numbers. it was just a week ago that this all happened...how can i just go out and meet another guy? but that didnt stop me from talking to him on the phone but my ex did finally call me and he had the nerve to ask me whats up!!! i was an ass to him like he was to me. apparently he got scared or soemthing...whatever. i dont need that. thanks for everyones help!

Good for you!

Echoing Eoe, Good for you.

What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose.

that last week was tough but it ended good. this week started out good but this day sucks alot. some girl whom i was friends with and liked the same guy that i was with apparently has been sleeping around with him and they have done EVERYTHING together. (words from her) im finding this out in my first hour..from her. and i had to deal with it all day. i confronted him about it but he denied it. no im not with him anymore but it still hurt as much as if i was because...he was using me. i have never felt so....low. and stupid. how could i NOT have seen it. the pain was gone for a while and now all this is doing is making me feel low, useless and used. please help me. :'(

That stupid chick! She actually told YOU this?

She must not like you for some silly reason and is trying on purpose to hurt you. She may even have been lying.

I'd keep in mind that she is TRYING to hurt you. This always helps me a bit, knowing that I don't have to do what other people want....that is, be hurt when they try to hurt me. She WANTS you to feel used and depressed, so don't give her the satisfaction!

Even if this was true, she was wrong to tell you (of all people) about it. Grown-ups don't do this, and if they do, they're not really grown up, they just look it.

If I were you, I'd call your new guy(s), and think not about what she said, but about what you've learned from this experience. He may have used you, but you can look at it like you used him, to get that first experience out of the way. And you learned a lot more useful stuff from him than he learned from you.

Don't let this worthless girl manipulate you. Dang her!

Sounds to me as though your Ex and Ms Mattress deserve each other.
If he's a scalp hunter, he's going to dump her the way he dumped you. If he's not a scalp hunter, her lies are going to give him the reputation of one.

One of the hardest lessons on the road to maturity is to learn that what other people do really doesn't affect who you are.

You are a sensitive and articulate girl/woman struggling all the normal problems of adolescence as well as a few extra one. Yesterday you were a day younger--tomorrow you will be a day older.

Ms. Mattress set out to hurt you--probably from jealousy. She was successful--you're in the painful throes of self-criticism.

I'd guess that part of the hurt comes from being caught unaware and not knowing what to say. I assume that all of you attend the same school and that Ms. Mattress is the chatty type. When she gives you unwanted details about her love life, have some answers ready.

Ms. Mattress: Yes. (Sigh!). We've done everything!

Possible Shannon answers:

"Oh, you're a member of the Mile High Club."

"Oh, and you didn't learn any manners?"

"Oh. Why do you think I should know this?"

"Am I supposed to say, "Thank you for sharing." ?

"I hope my Ex was tested for STD's."


As I said, part of maturing is learning that your happiness depends only on yourself and not on the actions of others. Shannon, you need some practice at being a bitch. Practice on Ms. Mattress--she deserves it.

Hold your dominion.

First, I'm glad you had a good time on your girls night out. Second, good riddance to bad boyfriends. The girl might or might not have been telling the truth but it doesn't really matter. She said it to bring you down and if you get down about it then she's been successful. Don't let her get to you. I know that's easier said than done but she's not worth you thoughts and from the sounds of it, neither is he.

Keep your chin held high Shannon. You're better off without him.

i know im better off without him..its just hard to NOT have him. apparently this girl is really sorry that she told me but the way i see it is..obviously she wasnt regardless of how sincere she sounded. she knew i liked him and STILL did stuff with him. shes a slut. a bitchy slut. i told her today that i dont like her..in fact i hate her. i cant even believe how low she stooped..and the sad thing is is that she keeps saying that she knew i liked him and that she was sorry she even did anything. but what i cant understand is what kind of "friend" would do that with a guy that she KNEW you liked? i mean...god. whats wrong with her?!

She's not your friend and she never was.

Bingo.

I suppose I should give advice ^^

I know it's hard when you go to school with them, but this is what worked for me before:
- Don't talk to him (you seem to already have this down )
- Don't talk to others about him, unless it's to vent or be angry with good friends (like here ^^)
- DON'T mourn over him being gone; he was obviously a jerk, and you're right, you -don't- need him
- Remember that you never "need" anyone to be happy, unless it's someone you gave your entire soul to (via: Marriage, or some other massive commitment. Even that is often negotiable.)
- Be happy that you are removed from his presence, no matter WHO caused the breakup. Aren't you happy that he didn't keep this going? Maybe he was cheating, and got tired of keeping up his charade here. Who knows. You may never know the truth for certain. What matters is: You + Him = Gone. That is a truly good thing, from what I can see here. Be relieved. His absence has made you available for some true sweethearts out there.
- You will find someone else. Someone more magical and wonderful than you ever thought you could find. I went through a painful breakup a year or so ago, and it felt almost exactly like this, and it was very similar. I was depressed for months... but here I am now, engaged to someone I didn't know I'd ever meet. Someone so infinitely greater and more wonderful than anyone else I've ever known. That person will come, just keep your eyes open.
- Don't dwell in the past. Feel the hurt, feel the rage and move on. Try not to get so caught up in the "what did he do?!" antics that you forget to live your life and move forward. His mess is his mess now, it's not yours anymore (thankfully). Let him be in his own mess and problems and love conflicts, leave him be. Free yourself (and your heart!) for someone that can treat you better.

best of luck to you

Unfortunately Shanaynay I have never been in your situation before. But I have one thing to tell you: Teenage boys, the majority of them are idiots and a**holes. Being a 17 yr. old boy I would know, i'm surrounded by them in my school. Just keep your head up and don't be afraid to talk to your parents or anyone that you might think will listen. I say "boys" because the majority of us haven't matured and experienced the world as it really is. There are boys who will turn into men, they are the ones that are the treasures. :wink: