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How to better connect with people?

 
 
Sam560
 
Reply Wed 17 Jan, 2018 12:44 am
So recently I've noticed I don't have many friends to associate with. My boyfriend and I are separated and I'm just wondering why it's so hard to connect with people and make friends?

I'm always an outgoing person but I do have a hard time keeping a conversation going and I always end up with awkward silences and not knowing what to say.

It seems nobody wants to get to know me sometimes and my coworkers and classmates don't seem to be very interested in me for some reason. Nobody ever calls or texts or seems to want to be my friend and I don't know what to do anymore.

If there's anything I can do to make myself more likeable, or to be more inviting to people I'd be interested in any advice. I'm just sort of feeling alone and like I'll never make any friends in the future.

I've got the looks down, and the charisma, but I just don't get how to connect with people and get them to like me.

Does anybody have any advice on how to act, talk and how to keep conversations going and how to get people to like you and be friends with you?

Thanks


 
Georgefowell
 
  0  
Reply Fri 19 Jan, 2018 01:20 am
@Sam560,
I understand sometimes it is difficult for people to get connect with others after break up. Because when you were in a relationship you were busy talking with your bf and you never needed other people but after break up you realized that you want friends to talk. Don't worry its a normal problem. In my opinion just be frank tell your story others genuine people like the real you. Have fun Smile
Sam560
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 28 Jan, 2018 02:46 am
@Georgefowell,
Thanks. I try to be optimistic but I have simply lost the ability to connect with others. My classmates and colleagues that is. They all seem to have a connection with each other I just don't understand, and I feel like I'm just there and nobody ever even talks to me unless I initiate the conversation. It's pretty frustrating.

I was in a new relationship recently, but now I'm getting back with my old Muslim boyfriend. His parents have some issues with him dating me but I love him and we're trying hard to make our relationship work.

It just gets frustrating sometimes when you can't connect with others. I don't know how. I used to know how to be social, but incredibly I have somehow forgotten.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 28 Jan, 2018 09:43 am
If you want friendships, you are going to have to cultivate them. You go up to people and you talk to them, and you listen to their responses, rather than just waiting for a break in the action so you can talk again. You ask them how they are and you take interest in their worlds. You don't have to love sports to ask someone, "Did your team win last night?"

Suggest activities. Yes, in the beginning, you're the one doing all of the planning. That's kind of how this all works. You do the legwork. And, hopefully, it pays off, at least part of the time.

Also, don't make friends the Plan B go-to when you don't have a relationship or at least a date. If you treat friends like second class citizens, they won't hang around for long. You need to cultivate time with them even when you have the option of being with a boyfriend.
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Jan, 2018 01:03 pm
'I have simply lost the ability to connect with others."

How do you think this happened?

Were you and BF spending so much time alone that you two didn't socialize, so you fell out of step with others?

Do you feel you are depressed, so the very thought of meeting people is too exhausting? Weight loss, trouble sleeping?

You went BACK to another BF. Is this going back to old ways and old relationships? Why did you break up with this guy before?i

How about getting a complete physical and telling your Dr. how you feel.

In the meantime, do you have a female best friend or relative that you can talk to?

Sam560
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jan, 2018 11:09 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thanks for the input I'm not depressed, I just seem to have lost my social skills and don't understand why. I really can't say how it happened though.
0 Replies
 
Sam560
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jan, 2018 11:12 pm
@jespah,
Of course. I would like to have close friends who I value. I just don't seem to be as funny or able to make people laugh, and I find it hard to make jokes. I used to be able to make myself laugh and it would make me confident and othere's would laugh and enjoy it too. But now it's hard to just keep a conversation going. I'm not sure how to recover from this.

I think it has to do with me not understanding how to use body language and facial expressions that are confident. I sometimes don't know how to act. I used to be very good and people would like me so much they'd go the extra mile for me. (for the record, I know it's not a popularity contest and I'm not looking to use anybody. I just want to spread happiness like I used to)

But now it seems that gift is gone. I just don't know how to come back from this.
0 Replies
 
 

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