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My pathetic love life...

 
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 02:45 pm
Kristie wrote:
But all he wanted was sex. Point blank. Had they dated a bit, gotten jiggy and THEN he told her, she would have been hurt and felt used.

In situations such as this, it's best to just say, "listen, I'm just lookin' for no stings attached sex."


That's just silly. And how do you know she would have been hurt? Maybe after they got a little closer to actually screwing, she would have thought, you know, I don't really like this guy all that much, but I'd like to screw him. He pre-empted the whole thing by "shooting his load" so to speak, too early.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 02:50 pm
No it isn't silly. Quit arguing with me. Honesty is always best in my opinion. Maybe I'm not like other women but I want to know the truth.

If I look like a big fat cow in something, it might hurt a little to hear it from my husband but it hurts a lot less than wearing it and having someone else comment on it later. Perhaps I am just different.
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 02:58 pm
Okay, I won't argue with you anymore. Honesty is always best. Listen to her, Joe. She's right about this.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 02:59 pm
kickycan wrote:
Okay, I won't argue with you anymore. Honesty is always best. Listen to her, Joe. She's right about this.


That's a good little Kicky. Razz
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Pantalones
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:01 pm
Roger:
That girl I didn't want a relationship with, so as bad as it'll sound she was to serve as a toy.

sozobe and Crazielady:
I thought I had closed the L chapter, a few days ago I found out I hadn't. It might be the best to talk to her and try to resolve the whole situation.
L is not the girl in the picture, she's a friend's sister who I also liked for a time... which brings us to the fact that I create a prospect out of every girl I meet. Which can't be good.

Kicky and Kristie:
I feel that I made the best choice in telling her. Not for her, but for me. I also think honesty is the best option as it clearly makes decisions easier to take.
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:02 pm
Aha! Proof of my point right there. I just lied to you and you loved it!

Joe, I hope you're taking notes.
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Pantalones
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:03 pm
I have the uttermost difficulty lying.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:04 pm
kickycan wrote:
Aha! Proof of my point right there. I just lied to you and you loved it!

Joe, I hope you're taking notes.


No, I got just what I wanted. You stopped arguing with me. Very Happy
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:05 pm
JoeFX wrote:
I have the uttermost difficulty lying.


I am a phenom when it comes to lying. I just choose not to.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:06 pm
And now that I've gotten my way, we can go into the back room and I'll show you what a good little Kicky you've been. Shocked


(Joe, are you taking notes here? Always give a women what she wants....the rewards are worth the effort.)
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:15 pm
I want you to do this excercise:

Hold your right hand up, about 12 inches away from your face...

Now firmly bitch-slap yourself.

Next, go to a t-shirt printing store, and have them make you up a shirt that says "CLINGY," so when you meet women they know off the bat where you stand.

BUDDY!

(and I'm too lazy to read through the thread, so I hope someone else has pointed this out)

You're acting so clingy, it's not even funny. When you meet a girl, you don't ask her 3 dates later "where are we?"

That automatically signals the girl to kick your ass to the curb, even if she had some attraction previous to your wussy comment/question.

How did you tell the girl you only wanted her for physical acts??? There's a way to do this tactfully, which obviously wasn't your method. Do not ask what this method is, because you're not at that level in which you could pull it off.

So what do you do after L's initial response? You ask her to be your girlfriend. Please repeat bitch-slap excercise again. DO NOT ASK A GIRL TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, WHEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN DATING! So many guys think the way to a woman's heart is to buy them a gift, or tell them how much they care for them, ect...but if this girl isn't very interested in you, it DRIVES THEM AWAY.

Women are attracted to confident guys who have a life, not clingy guys who act like their girlfriends. Once you start acting like how you did...they don't like it, and once you cross that point into "friendshipzone," you're done.

You're just not acting in a way that attracts females...do you have any female friends? Ask them how they feel when a guy asks them to be their girlfriend right off the bat. They'll tell you.

Do you have any guy friends, that actually do well with girls? Ask them what they do...

Think of this: do you think you've ever been attracted to a girl more because she was a challenge? Of course! It's the same way the other way around.
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:38 pm
Slappy's right. Listen to him, Joe. He doesn't have that big mushroom head on his shoulders for nothin'.
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Pantalones
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 03:44 pm
Quote:

How did you tell the girl you only wanted her for physical acts??? There's a way to do this tactfully, which obviously wasn't your method. Do not ask what this method is, because you're not at that level in which you could pull it off.


I asked her what did she want out of that. She responded with the same question, after some back and forth, I told her I wasn't interested in a relationship, I only wanted her for physical pleasure.

Quote:
DO NOT ASK A GIRL TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, WHEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN DATING!


We were going out two days a week on average, I take that as dating. So when I asked her, it wasn't off the bat.

Everything else I agree with even if it's my style, even the bitchslaps.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 04:07 pm
With your first quote there, again, you're asking these girls too many f'n questions. You're making out with her, stop, and say "what do you want out of this?"

Bitch-slap#3.

Kristie and Kicky both were kind of right. For one, you don't just say "I want no-strings sex." You can either a) not ever bring up any relationship talk, and if you sleep together, so be it. You have NO obligation to a girl by having sex with her. It's a scumbag move when you lie to her to get her into bed, or b) tell her something along the lines that you don't want anything serious, and leave it at that. Women are intuitive, she'll figure it out.

Ok, so it wasn't right off the bat...I was wrong. However, if a girl wants a relationship, she'll put the pressure on you, without fail. They don't need you asking them to be their girlfriend, unless it's 100% obvious in your mind she'll say yes. If you have to "nervously ask," there's a reason.

Are you starting to see why you're digging yourself into holes? When I was 19, I did all the same exact things! I wish someone pounded some sense into me...I had to figure it out on my own.
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fbaezer
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jan, 2005 05:27 pm
I tend to agree more with kicky and slappy on this one. My knee-jerk reaction to your open confession to the girl you were kissing that you were the servant of mere lust was to think "¡Qué pendejo!". It's terribly wrong to tell a girl you love her just to get her into bed, but you don't have to be "sure", or be official boyfriend-girlfriend for a nice sex session.
Do you know what she wanted? Perhaps the same thing you did!

As for the other matters, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I wouldn't look for a good relationship through the internet. I believe most people in those "love forums" act differently than in real life. Plus she's 3 hours away ("Amor de lejos...). A good lay would be advisable if my wife's best friend wouldn't have gotten pregnant from a one night stand with a dude she met via internet.

JoeFX, you're reasonably good looking, and also sensitive and smart. You should have several girls to choose from. Way too often, when we are as young as you are, we don't approach them until we are almost certain that their response will be possitive. Don't let your experience with L. hurt you in that sense.
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Pantalones
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jan, 2005 03:25 pm
Thanks to everybody who chimed in.
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