I like pan's response.
I have a feeling that Thetes is expecting that people will come up with shortsighted, prejudiced answers and he will come in and enlighten us with the bigger picture. I know someone who was a victim of a pedophile, wrote a book about it, is deeply ambiguous about the experience -- it felt good, he thought he loved the man, he didn't feel victimized, but...? I know another person who was a victim and was deeply, terribly damaged by the experience, including the fact that the pedophile was a family member and nobody believed her when she told them what happened.
I think pedophiles are NOT just icky men who lurk in alleyways in trenchcoats ready to grab a child and do terrible things to him/ her. I think that lots of pedophiles liken it to homosexuality -- they can't help it, it's just who they're attracted to. I think a lot of pedophiles have their own sad stories, their own damage in childhood, that again makes the simple villainization difficult. I think a lot of pedophiles are skilled at rationalization -- the kid likes it, it's fine.
I think adult - child sexual contact is never OK.
I just can't justify a grown person rationalizing the molestation of a child. Nor can I be ok with the idea that it might be a disease so they can't help it. Homosexuality is between two consenting adults. Pedophelia is between an adult who knows better and a child who doesn't.
I think that it is sick and wrong. Maybe I am narrow minded and short sighted but as humans we were given the gift of choice and while one may not choose to be a pedophile, they can choose NOT to touch innocent children. That's all I'm saying.
I respect your opinion but just can't agree.
Or Thetes could be trying to find out if anyone pictures a woman when they hear the word "pedophile."
Eh, Kristie?
I did just read your warning thread, but not sure if you read my post correctly (or perhaps my post just wasn't clear) -- I was saying that a lot of PEDOPHILES think that it is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality. My last line is what *I* think.
That said, if someone is a non-practicing pedophile -- if they are attracted to children but have that under control and do not act on it -- I don't think they should be locked up.
Good point, Cinn. Of the two people I know that I mentioned, the second was a woman who was molested by her aunt when she was a girl. (The aunt also molested two boy cousins.)
Kristie wrote:Having a disease does not entitle one to molest innocent kids.
I agree
Quote:You have the ability as a human to control your actions.
I disagree vis a vis your 400lb grocery store shopper.
sozobe wrote:Eh, Kristie?
I did just read your warning thread, but not sure if you read my post correctly (or perhaps my post just wasn't clear) -- I was saying that a lot of PEDOPHILES think that it is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality. My last line is what *I* think.
That said, if someone is a non-practicing pedophile -- if they are attracted to children but have that under control and do not act on it -- I don't think they should be locked up.
Good point, Cinn. Of the two people I know that I mentioned, the second was a woman who was molested by her aunt when she was a girl. (The aunt also molested two boy cousins.)
Ahhhh, sorry soz. My bad. I didn't read your post right.
Sorry....
I agree that if someone doesn't act on it, they shouldnt' be locked up. They've done nothing wrong. It's the ones that do act I dispise.
No argument there, Kristie. And it's not like I didn't have fair warning. ;-)
Your guess is as good as mine, Cinnesthesia.
Maybe s/he wants us to air our prejudices? You can't just throw a serious subject like this around willy nilly & expect a serious discussion.
panzade wrote:Kristie wrote:Having a disease does not entitle one to molest innocent kids.
I agree
Quote:You have the ability as a human to control your actions.
I disagree vis a vis your 400lb grocery store shopper.
Did I misunderstand this? Just wondering if my brain is not functioning properly today....
You can control buying food.
You can control being fat via eating too much. Not all obese people are fat because they overeat, but many are and they can control what they put in their mouths. They may not want to learn how but they can.
msolga wrote:Your guess is as good as mine, Cinnesthesia.
Maybe s/he wants us to air our prejudices? You can't just throw a serious subject like this around willy nilly & expect a serious discussion.
willy nilly...I like that.....it made me smile.... he he he
sozobe wrote:No argument there, Kristie. And it's not like I didn't have fair warning. ;-)
sorry....pms. I just feel like running my car into the side of a building.
panzade wrote:
I disagree vis a vis your 400lb grocery store shopper.
Sorry, a poor example. let's just say that I don't buy the premise that if someone can't control their actions it's because they're an inferior human being. Is that better?
panzade wrote:panzade wrote:
I disagree vis a vis your 400lb grocery store shopper.
Sorry, a poor example. let's just say that I don't buy the premise that if someone can't control their actions it's because they're an inferior human being. Is that better?
It isn't so much the controlling as the trying to control. We are all weak. We all do stupid things. We all are unable to control ourselves at times. It's the people who just say f*ck it, and do it anyway, even though they know its wrong that bug me.
And weakness that affects self is different than weakness that affects someone else, say a child.
Just a question....is that the correct use of affect, or is it suppose to be effect? I can never remember.
Re: Pedophiles?
Thetes wrote:I'm just curious. When you guys hear the word "pedophile", what do you think? Don't worry about the dictionary terms or anything, but what do <i><b>you</b></i> think?
Why don't you tell us what you think when you hear the word "pedophile!"
Kristie wrote:
And weakness that affects self is different than weakness that affects someone else,
Sweetie, I wish this were true...but I just don't think it is.
Ok my responce as i understand the question:
( being a victim of child molestation myself....)
I envision the neighborhood man. Yes.. i said it.. MAN. This isnt a fair statement for me to make because from experience, I know children are molested by women as well...
But as I said, this is how I percieve the original question.
I see a man of his 40's...usually the quiet neighbor. Holding a respectful job, nothing scary about his demeanor. Just someone who is there. Nothing special.
I also envision the tatooed creep in jail. I envision an angry man of his 30s with the sneer on his face almost a give away of his evil intentions.
Why does those two images come to mind? I have no clue. I am smart enough to know that they do not apply and that they are stereotypes. But.. if that is how you ment the question to be answered... there you have it.
under the law, a pedophile m ust havee earned his appellation. There are no pedophiles "in training". We can intercept the blossoming pedophile before any crime is commited. However, after the CRIME is committed, I dont have pity. Treatment needs to be dispensed in carefully controlled environments , like incarceration. Im all for genetic research, medical research and whatever works. I just want the kids safe, this should be no " Constitutional rights " issue that forgets the rights of little kids. Id wanna keep an eye on all those NAMBLA typees also.
We have had an example of this in our extended family and the perp was only satisfying some sick desires on a young girl. It turned out that this guy had molested his own children(ALL OF THEM). There are 3 kids in deep treatment to this day. Their entire childhoods went from carefree innocense to darkness and suspicion of all their male relatives.
The hell of it is that most of us in the family knew that this man was not normal and yet we never called out to question why he displayed some of the
characteristics hed shown as he became an adult. Our guilt is only discussed in small groups and never during holidays .
im not one who should be included in any intellectual discussion on this subject as Im filled with relict rage
Thetes wrote:Come on guys, I'm being a little bit serious here. When you hear the word "pedophile", what immediatley comes to mind? I'm honestly wondering...
sick twisted **** who cant get a real girlfriend and so then pressures little children into sexual actions which they would not normally do at there age and even abuses them if they dont do what is told
but dont get me wrong if they dont hit the kids for not doin the sexual acts there still pedophiles and should be beaten and stoned sick pricks
as u can tell i feel quite strongly about it and want to see them all hanged
all up for giving people a second chance but when u go so low as to involve kids i dont see why i should
question aswered
