Your opinion

I posted to a different forum a few months ago, and people were Really Nasty. They seemed to believe that whoever posted was at fault. There was a topic on that forum named, "Why is everybody here so MEAN?" Answer, generally, was "Because you're such an idiot...' When I read that I simply quit going there.

On this forum, even comments that seem hurtful are mostly attempts at humor. I try not to take any forum comments too seriously. I've wondered why people here seem so much more caring & compassionate than other forums. I like it!

I've thought about Charms rather a lot (arm bruised by her new husband). I've realized that, for all the problems in my own marriage, I wouldn't trade problems with anybody. It's so good not to feel so alone!

material girl asked:



For the most part, I'm able to regard poster's problems as problems rather that as extra pieces of personal anguish. I admit to spending some off-line time wondering what I could write that would help solve the poster's problem, but since I don't know most people personally, I can be dispassionate (and perhaps more helpful than I could be if I were emotionally involved.

Boris Kitten wondered:



I think part of A2K's group ethos comes from the hard core of opinionated and compassionate crones--and seasoned, contankerous greybeards. Those of us over 55 were raised in a more mannered culture than exists today. Also, our maturity modifies our gut reactions.

I suspect that some of the caring and compassion can be attributed to alert and sophisticated moderators.

Many of us are veterans and refugees of the now defunct site, Abuzz, which was a Bulletin Board sponsored by the NYT's. We were pre-selected for general information and reinforced by an appreciation for wit and for incisive thinking. When Abuzz ran out of money for moderators, the site fell prey to trolls and deteriorated.


Material girl wondered:



I don't know about "changing" my life, but I know Abuzz and A2K have enriched my life. Because of my health and my husband's fading health, I'm limited geographically in my social contacts. My neighbors are Salt of the Earth people--but not intellectual speculators, not people given to word play; not people who are comfortable with world views.

First through Abuzz and then through A2K I have access to 31,000 interesting minds.

To quibble about words, my life is "enlarged" rather than "changed".

Well, I come looking for advice a lil over a year ago. And have stayed....I have had my moments when I didn't think I would want to come back, but for some reason I do...I'm addicted to A2K. I'd like to think for the most part its the encounters with the people that I have become aquainted with, thier sense of humor and the compassion I have seen them show, especially in some trying times. There is nothing like laughing at the computer screen and your family looking at you like you have lost your mind.

Changed my life? Umm.....wouldn't say that. Added another branch to my tree of knowledge........yes.



Nawww.........I just learned to stay away from the religion threads..lol

Dop you find it easier to talk out problems with complete strangers?
Is it easier to accept criticism from people you dont know?

I love forums.. started posting in forums only by the mid of 2004 , I find it refreshing and i think its a good way to share our eyes with ideas of people and to ask some questions which i don't know and i find out the answers from the forums too. I love it.. Can u plz tell me another link to another interesting forum website other than this too plz. This is the only English Forums which i have joined till date... except for the animation and photo thingy.
thx

As always, Noddy is right on target. As for me, I observe many of the problems of the younger members, and have a jolting deja vu. I receive a lot of pleasure in helping people understand that they are not alone, that many of the tribulations that they are going through is really simply just a part of being human, in an imperfect world.

For a number of years now, I have had a great sense of wanting to "pass the torch", to share what I have learned in life with the younger members of society. Hopefully, my knowledge and experience will, to some measure, ease some of the difficult life experiences for others.

Sometimes I get a little peeved but never enough to bring it out of the forum. I don't know the person on the other end and they might be having a bad day. Who knows?

It might sound silly but I like this site because, well, it keeps me company. A lot of these people are funny, intelligent, caring people who will give you a kind word when you need it, or a laugh when you're down. You can't substitute real actual contact with people with this site, but it's nice to be able to come here and just bitch if you want to.

I love to argue and debate and for the most part, everyone here is pretty good about keeping things above the belt and not take cheap shots. Which makes a discussion fun and interesting.

I love A2K.

It is truely great company,Iseem to spend all day on it.

Maybe I am unique.. but this is just the internet.
If I dont like something , there is a little X up in the right hand corner that is screaming to be clicked on.

that's the beauty of it. You can't click real people off.

exactly.
well.. not to say that the people on forums ARENT real. hehe.. just that they are not in front of me so if i dont like something, i just dont have to look at it. I dont get all pissy in the pants when someone says something rude. I either laugh or turn it off. I also appreciate when people are kind, helpful and funny but truth be told ,they dont live with me so thier opinion of me doesnt matter. I respect opinions of people who are respect WORTHY but other then that.. i just turn it off. It is called control. and I am a control freak. ;-)

Actually I'm not real... merely a very persistent figmant of your imagination.

jp
I thought you were a rendition of Big Blue..
sent out to get me..

Jpin is really Thing. Look at his avatar.

one more thing to chalk up as my twin.

My ultimate destiny is to chase fledgling young women around an internet forum winning them over one by one until I have an entire legion of vixens willing to do what my heart desires...

I mean big blue... yeah.. that's it... :wink:

( rolls over on tummy whimpering )


yes master JP.
oh yes master
I am at your beck-and-call
throw my little ball
and I shall chase it for you
tell me to sit and I shall
Tell me to play dead and i will ask how long
just give me a meatybone every now and then
and i will be a happy wolf

So you fetch... that will come in handy...

<writing down notes>

Shewolfnm, You are not unique! I try to give the best replies I can to the questions I choose to answer, but there are definite limits to the depth of internet discourse. If someone persistently misinterprets me, and I cannot figure out how to make myself clearer, that's it, I have to turn the page. I do feel a connection with some of the members I have known for a long time (from Abuzz); over the years, they develop distinct personalities, and I wish some of these charming souls lived next door.

As for Material Girl's question--has a forum ever changed me forever?--the answer is yes. I spend most of my small time on A2K in the Art forums, and discussions there have very definitely helped my vision to evolve, thereby changing me permanently--again and again. I love this.

On the occasions I stop by this forum (Relationships), I notice much more emotional ferment than I see most days in Art. If my people-experience from many years spent as a teacher seems potentially useful to someone who is puzzled or in dismay, I'll give an opinion. As I am seemingly geneticly predisposed to believing that everyone is telling the truth, I may be giving advice for a problem that is fictional, but, hey, I figure that, if a person feels compelled to go online with made-up issues, that's a problem in itself, and maybe my giving a reasoned reply may be somewhat helpful, even if it's off the ostensible topic. My experience has been that, if I treat someone with respect, he or she may start treating himself/herself with respect.

I have never gone away "seething" from either Abuzz or A2K, although I have wondered--only occasionally--why someone is posting obvious baloney or trying to be rude. In these rare instances, I do what shewolfnm does--hit that corner X! A2K is, in general, such a positive colloquy, why let the rare jerk ruin my pleasure, when it's so easy to make his words disappear?