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My girlfriend and I don't exactly agree on the concept of kids. Help!!!

 
 
Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 06:56 pm
I’m a thirty-two year old single man from Miami, Florida. I live in my own house with a mortgage that I’m still paying. I purchased the property two years ago at my parents insistence.

They said I wasn't getting any younger, and it was about time that I started investing in something concrete and long-lasting.

It was around that time that I met my girlfriend on [mod]edit[mod] dating site. It was another thing that my parents have talked to me about. They said they wanted me to seek out love. It was a good thing that I did, otherwise I wouldn’t find the love of my life now. I met her during my first visit and we really proved to ourselves that we were a good match.

In the past months, we have been casually mentioning marriage in our conversations. The idea of marriage is very lovely, and the thought of it really makes my heart flutter. The only problem I have now is that she has already mentioned her fondness for children but I’m still not sure if I do. I don’t really hate the idea of children but I don’t love it too, at least not as much as she does.

Should I be worried about us? Should I tell her the truth about how I feel about children? It was just a casual conversation anyway. Do we need to sit down and discuss the issue? I badly need anyone’s help regarding this problem. Maybe I’ll change my mind in the future. I want to sort this out soon. Please help me!
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 07:04 pm
@arturo281,
The kid/no kid thing is an absolute dealbreaker. If you do not want children, then no matter how wonderful everything else is, it's best to put on the brakes, because there is no compromise between having no children and having children (having one child is not a compromise to the person who doesn't want to have any).
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 07:07 pm
You have not closed the door on having children. That's a good sign.

You have found the love of your life. That's rare. What better person for you to even think of having children with?

Are you an only child? Do you have close friends with children? Nieces or Nephews?


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CoastalRat
 
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Reply Tue 19 Dec, 2017 08:41 am
@arturo281,
Quote:
Do we need to sit down and discuss the issue?
Of course you should. At least at some point before deciding to get married. And you both need to be clear on how you feel.
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Medusax
 
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Reply Tue 19 Dec, 2017 08:22 pm
@arturo281,
One of the FIRST things I made perfectly clear to my late husband was that I NEVER wanted kids, so if he wanted them he better look elsewhere. HE did not want them either, so it was all good. But, you need to make up your mind and stick to your decision of this one. It's a BIGGIE.
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mrstj4sho88
 
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Reply Sat 23 Dec, 2017 10:33 pm
@arturo281,
If you don't wish to have children, this person is not the one for you.
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djjd62
 
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Reply Sun 24 Dec, 2017 09:51 am
I've never really understood the concept of children either, I mean what are they, little mini humans, that's just weird
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