Becoming honest with myself has been hard. I don't even realize I am in denial sometimes. I have lost friends and even closer but the few who put up with me I am sure are relieved too.
Health reasons and the prospect of what could happen and making an ass of myself online have not been helpful in my life.
I am lucky I am able to quit without too much detox. I know this does not slow the progress of the disease.
I will be 55 next month, time to make a change.
If I let it, change is gonna come.
I tried alone, I could not maintain so I tried an LGBT AA meeting and things clicked, I really do want what they have.
I over think things, so I am just taking it slow and listening for now. Too proud to speak. People bear their hearts, and this is helping me with my own honesty.
Whatever their magic is, it is working.
I feel good and the drunk dreams are such a relief when I wake up and they are only dreams.
One month seems like so little a time.
Any amount of time is progress.
I have seen people with much more sobriety who are emotionally unstable and everyone at the meetings comfort them and no one is left uncared for.
I think I have found my home.
They are part of the reason why I have quit and the other part leaves much to be considered, reasoned and evaluated in my own time.
I have no desire to drink, I hope that remains a constant.
I can't see why it won't if I keep working the program and I am allowing the program to work for me.
Every day is a relief, if that is serentiy well, I am happy for it.
Every day a new beginning.
Life is working out for the better.
Thanks for the encouraging comments all!
I will let you know of my progress.