Montana, I've always liked your second quotation (the one from Sara and Gerald Murphy), because "living well" does not necessarily mean having money; it runs deeper than that. It has always struck me that the phrase means something like "living healthy and free from thinking about the event that someone else might be obsessed about revenging." The person who lives well has turned the page and gone forward. An empowering concept for anyone who's had the misfortune of being unfairly crossed.
I think that one reason some members of my sex "rub other women in [their ex's] faces" goes back to kindergarten. It's like a little boy's saying "Well, you made trouble and tried to blame me, but it wasn't my fault. Other people know this, and I'm really popular. See all my friends." Out of touch with reality--and boring--this behavior! That a guy can believe this tells you that he's an illogical and self-centered person--and better off left behind, because it's time to start "living well."
That quote means the same to me as it does to you and it has nothing to do with money for me either. I have no money to speak of anyway, so it's all about moving ahead without letting abusers stand in my way. They don't have the power to make me as miserable as they obviously are and that's is the sweetest revenge ;-)
My ex was an abuser and he did this as another form of abuse. He wanted to hurt me because he enjoyed it so very much.
Thanks to all of you for replying. I feel very happty and secure with my decision. I'm a logical thinker, but I guess you cannot be logical with a person like him.
I'm not going to involve myself in their relationship in anyway and I do not respond. Since I have not responded the flaunting has stopped pretty much. I do feel very sorry for her and her children if they stick around but it is her lesson to learn. I feel compassion for her and her children,
but you guys are right. She is a woman she can lead her life as she chooses.
I think his new girl friend is very much like me when I was young (except that I was challenging and he didn't meet my children for three months). We are physically very different - she's blonde, at least 5'9". I'm 5'1" and wear a size still wear a size 2 (I'm 44). I'm not bragging though. This is just my genetic makeup so I don't have to think about by size or weight.
It is not going to be easy, but I feel that my freedom will come!
Thanks for your support!
Miklos7 & Montana or anybody else that wants to comment. Do you feel as I do that he also shows her disrespect by allowing me to come into his home (to get to the office) whenever I want to? In a way I feel he has put me in her face as much he has put me in her face.
Also, do you guys really buy that this does not bother her has she acts and claims?
If she's smart she knows what he's doing and may or may not be bothered by it. I know from experience that it would bother me, but we are all different and she may just let it roll off her back. My ex's girlfriend was just as much of a monster as he was, so she enjoyed sticking herself in my face as much as he did, so maybe it's an ego trip for her as well.
Have you ever thought of seeking employment somewhere else?
I have a full time job as the co-owner of our stores. I'm bound by leases, legal documents, etc. I am trying to sell out, but I can't legally walk away from it. I working hard on making it happen. I have an offer I'm working on.
I don't get the feeling she is a monster at all because she does not get herself involved with our business relationship.
I see. Well, it's good to know that she keeps a distance. I wish I could say the same for my situation.
I wish you the very best.
Sherry1, Since you are in the process of separating yourself from this mess, perhaps, it's to your advantage not to spend time thinking about motives and agendas of people for whom you're not responsible. Your questions are interesting in the abstract, but I'd only be guessing, and you are moving on to better things anyway!
Sherry, I have to say you sound really together (and emotionally very smart) to me! I'm sure I would not have handled this situation so well.
I'd be trying my darndest to get out of the business situation, so you can leave the whole thing behind. Sounds like you're doing this already.
To me, your future looks very bright! Keep your chin up, and pat yourself on the back for meeting these difficulties as well as anyone ever could. Love & hugs to a strong, sane woman......
Borris Kitten.
Thanks so much for your support and words of encouragement.
