Life at home

that is true. we have stormed off out of the room a number on at least two occasions as well. That might be non-verbal yelling.

and the "did you hear what she just said nine times? can you repeat to me what you heard her say?" while not with raised voice, was certainly a tense conversation. (and GOD... the longest in my life.)

And on other, non-HM#3 life issues..... why do I keep flat out passing out at 7-8 pm? It's been a daily occurance for weeks. Does this have something to do with antihystamines?

anti-histamines, sure. heat probably also. more physical movement also helps. i don't see why not. i was never a napper, but if i was, that would be the most sensible time.

Stress can wear you out, too. Some people lost sleep, some people sleep more at odd times when they're generally stressed. I do a little bit of both -- fall asleep at 8 one day, stay up all night the next.

He clearly had no clue of any people like you two.

I could make fun but I won't. If he was MIT material, what does that mean? (My cousin's son, the cal tech guy, didn't hardly talk at family gatherings for ten or near on twenty years and then worked into it gradually....) Well, that cousin has a life to tell.

It is hard to comprehend people in a short time.

I see this guy as primo jerko, but I don't know backstory. He seems almost... bereft of social clues.

For his sake, I hope he can equilibrate in the world...


and for you two, I wish you sensible roommates....

Sure it does, re antihistamines. I used to take as many as eight benedryl a day - listen, I was sneeze queen - and worked my way down to nothing.

Of course they make you sleepy, even if you are used to them.

well, i think he'd do best living on his own. so far his previous roommates were, according to him psychos obsessed with cleaning or somesuch.

seems that we only join the ranks of 'psychos' in his life. not that i care what he thinks of me.

Well, this guy was piggy re cleaning, and you two are pretty strict.

My big gripe with you two is re the tighty whities. You didn't get him to stop, even with a young niece.... recently. Fking yell.

I don't care what he thinks of you, he's wrong, or mostly incomprehending.
Just looking with an overview. He was out of water. Might have been out of water within his own community. Or, he woulda been fine with a frat type situation. Not to assume.

shuts up, gone too far again.

Could be dehydration.

How much water are you drinking during the day. Pee colour will tell you (slightly problematic for ladies I know). Darker means you are dehydrated. The 7-8 pm time slot would indicate you need to be drinking water at around 3 or 4 pm. Magnesium supplements will help you absorb more water. Possibly cut back on the coffee or tea. Its diuretic.

She's passing out from Benedryl... doh.


I used to take a lot and cut it down down down and then out. Not that I'm heroic, but I was tired of being unconscious.

Osso, not benadryl. Loratadine and psuedoephedrine mixed (alavert 12 hour) I didn't take it today, I only take it when I'm gardening. I gardened/took the stuff sat and sun.

DP - My pee isn't dark, but I probably still am not drinking enough water. I never do. I probably drink a couple of liters of water, one large cup of coffee and nothing sweet (usually) like soda. I hadn't even had a beer when I dropped out. 3 or 4 pm is generally when I do start downing the water.

PD (heh) - could be stress. But, I've been more stressed than now before with no effects like this.

I think of it as allergy related - like what happens in the spring. But, nothing is really blooming up a storm here right now. <shrug> Maybe a combo of things.

So its probably not dehydration, but I'm sure you would like a pee chart on your thread.

I seem to have those same allergies, littlek. Trying to figure out what's up with that.

I loved dag's line about not yelling at murderers, but I do think there is a time and a place for yelling. Something about shaking people into a different emotional plane, indicating that this is SERIOUS so pay attention NOW. Seems to usually be more necessary and effective for men than for women. (Men blink and pay attention, women shrink and get sniffly.) (Yes, I've done this in housemate situations.)

Have you had a hemogram taken recently? If the problem is metabolic, you'd have a good chance of catching it this way.

perhaps soz and osso are right, but i was raised by my parents who were firm believers in non yelling. there was never a raised voice, not even against us kids. sure there were arguments, but not yelling. was it effective? you bet it was. i am sure yelling would deliver for others, but i am not inclined to learn how to yell now. everything in me screams against yelling, even if it sounds funny. so, i hear you, but it's absolutely not for me.

I've used it sparingly, but there are times when I don't think anything else would work.

I can see how your profession would make you averse to it, too, but I think there is an important difference between mediation sorts of situations and a household situation. In a mediation, people are already in that heightened state. They have prepared themselves, they know what's going on, they're ready and paying attention. It would be terrible for a mediator to yell; a mediator needs to be in control and professional and an oasis rather than a source of additional stress.

In a household situation, though, people are just going about their normal lives. They aren't in that heightened state and they can't be all the time if they want to remain sane. Something has to get them there, and calm reason doesn't always work. (I know because it's my default approach, too.) I would yell in a conscious way, and stop as soon as it had its effect, but it would work.

Anyway, if it's not for you, it's not for you, and definitely stick to what works for you. Just saying that I can see how it would go against your training in terms of conflict resolution, when I think this sort of situation is significantly different. Different from family situations, too -- non-yelling is important there too, I agree. It mostly has to do with a situation when you have to co-exist with someone who you don't have an intimate connection to, and who is not paying attention to reason. Especially a guy. Especially a young guy. Especially a young guy who is Latin. :-P OK, I'll stop, really.

yelling is terrible. and in fact i believe it only leads to the person being yelled at putting the "yeller" on ignore.

being the "yellee", just isnt fun either.

It really depends. With the kind of person I'm talking about, and that HM#3 really reminds me of, just being calm and reasonable (and nothing more) leads to the C&R person being put on "ignore." To this kind of person, if it's serious and requiring attention, there would be yelling. If it's just a bunch of polite requests to do this and that, it's not serious and doesn't require attention.

Definitely not something that's one size fits all, though -- as in, if faced with this situation, start yelling. Depends on a bunch of factors.