Life at home

About this time last year I asked a question about sharing utilities. One housemate (HM#1) was gone for nearly 2 months and I felt badly about charging her for gas and electric while she wasn't here. I came to you and the general consensus was - housemates split bills whether their at home or away. Ok.....

So, this year, HM#2 was away for 2-3 weeks for xmas and spent time traveling while at work for the CDC over the course of 2 weeks. She also went to costa rica for vacation this week. When I told her about the particularly nasty gas bill that'll be due this month, she asked how we will be prorating it.

Speechless.

Thankfully, HM#1 spoke up and then a long and fiesty 3-way 'discussion' ensued.

Some very dumb things were said.

Was there any yelling?

littlek..........I'm sure she knows that if she were vacationing and lived by herself that she would be paying her gas bill anyways. And ALL by herself. NO way should it be prorated. That's just wrong.

I am sort of going through something similar. The person that lives with me, and also happens to be my cousin has a child. My house payment and utilites (plus taxes and insurance) run me about 2,000/month. She pays me a flat 500/month to live here. I buy all the food..........she pays nothing else.

I take that 500 that she pays me and I put it back for the baby. I don't spend any of it. The babies father is a deadbeat. I figure she will never have anything from her Daddy.

Well, we had a few words over the weekend about the money. She made the comment that when she moves out.....at least she will have money to get started on. (for rent and such)

I was like.. I don't think so. That money belongs to Taylor (the baby) PERIOD. If she needs more money to pay her own way....then she best be gettin' a better job.

Anyways........hold you domain, littlek.

Good for you, Brooke!!!

I agree with B, lil'k. Would-be-deadbeat-housemate has to cough up her share. Fair is fair.

Brooke...why are you paying for food for cousin & baby? $500/month seems generous enough!

i was gone for more than a month, and paid all utilities equally with my housemates as if i lived here. no discussion, didn't even occur to me. it's not their fault i was gone - my choice. we have a lease, i pay. even for the phone line i haven't even touched. oh well.

Because I make alot more money then she does and the father lives in New York. Pays no child support. He comes here when he feels like it. When he does he will buy things for Taylor, but there is no monthly check from him. Annette lets him get away with that.

End result....I just want Taylor to be taken care of. If I buy the food...at least I know she is eating properly. If Nettie gives me money to help pay for the food, I fear that Taylor will not have other things she needs because Nettie will not have the money for them.

If that makes sense.

Um...I suppose.

You are too kind, though. Perhaps baby will appreciate it in time, but I doubt Annette ever will. She sounds like a user. She'll probably be with you forever...where else could she get a deal like this?

It's very sad, and I know you want to help Taylor. Over the past 20 years I've watched my brother-in-law and sister-in-law systematically mess up the lives of their two girls beyond repair. Sheesh. We tried to talk to the parents, then to the girls, gave them books, money, kept them during vacations. So did several other relatives. Nothing we said or did ever made a difference...they grew up with the values (or rather, lack of) their parents gave them.

Hope your story turns out differently.

So do I.

We've had issues since she moved in with me. Mostly because I don't allow her to do whatever she wants while living here. So I'm not too sure she will be here forever. With a baby in the house, I have set limits that she does not like abiding by.......but she knows I will not budge, so she has no choice under my roof, anyways.

I guess time will tell. It always does.

Brooke - good for you for helping out your cousin and her child. Kids need all the help they can get.

I know all of the above folks, but thanks for the support.

Kicky, yes there was yelling. I don't get actively angry very often, but I was lat night.

We had a pathetic exchange at the end of the night, before bed - yes, yes, just a difference of opinion, but at least I got to say my piece while I was still pissed.

wow, you and yelling, i don't think i have ever seen that! hm#2 is something to provoke that!

Indeed she is. HM#1 kept her cool, I lost mine. Actually, yelling the way I yell may not be considered yelling by some. My voice was raised a bit and I was obviously pissed off.

Could HM # 2 tell that you were mad? Did she apologize for making you angry?

Not for making me angry - that's silly.

She should recognize that she's been pushing your last coupla buttons - and apologize for it.



and could she tell?

she has no clue. she lacks all social skills known to humans from what i observed.

ok


Dasha, can you go slap HM#2 upside the head and tell her it's a greeting from a friend. Thanks.

Wait a minute - I dunno if one shouldapologize for expressing one's opinion - no matter how dumb that opinion is.

she does however have to fork over the cash.

yes. She did take out the trash tonight, too.

ha. that is good news. i suppose raising voice every now and then can help. i started taking negotiating class yesterday, if you need help, just holler!