dagmaraka wrote:well, nimh, you shared your feelings, i shared mine.
and you said my reaction was overworded, and I thought yours was <shrugs>
dagmaraka wrote:1) I found it depressing and shallow.
2) I found it depressing and shallow because I ...(whatever you said at the end... imagined being judged on these grounds... whatever you want to use to condition it).
That would have made the difference.
Fair enough. <nods>
dagmaraka wrote:errr.... i only agreed with the first part above. Just noticed the second.... Now, let me be non-forceful yet honest, too... Women=passive aggressive, Men=not? For real? I know quite a few passive aggressive men myself. Women, too...but the gender thing...tsk tsk nimh.
Yeah yeah, I know.. its a cliche, a stereotype.. fo sure there's lots of passive agressive men. Lots.
Just that - OK, so there was this situation where you decided to stick with him, and eventually told people here, basically, stop telling us how we could still change flatmates or ask him to leave or whatever - we've decided to just bear it, but the only way we can do that is by bitching about him here, so we need you to just be here to sympathise, kinda.
And allright, I think that kind of thing - I mean, that kind of situation - I dunno. That does seem to be a - uhmm - ok, the kind of decision you see more women make than men, in general, exceptions excepted. And men, on average, being pretty notoriously inept in tolerating that ("either do something about it already, or stop bitching about it!")
Its this whole, you know - she comes with a problem she has at work or, especially, with a friend, and moans to him, and he goes, "well why dont you just?", and starts thinking up practical solutions, and she gets all frustrated because she doesnt
want a solution, all she wanted was to vent, and he gets all impatient listening to the same complaints over and again when he thinks well do something
about it then! That stuff. There's times that roles are reversed, but in general its such standard men/women miscommunication fodder, you heard your exasperated friends about it, read it in the advice column, seen it discussed on Oprah, whatever. So yeah, not like - every man, every woman - and I actually hated that Mars/Venus book - but there's
some things...