Life at home

(in case you don't already know, you should never take advice on interpersonal relations from me, anyhow. generally a few people like me, most people don't know what the hell is going on in my head, and a few people actively dislike me.)

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Hmmm.... underwear models? He does have a bit of a Napolean Complex.

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<sigh> He seems to have broken the washing machine.

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Yours? Or does it belong to your landlord?

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Kill him, k. Bury the body in the backyard.

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Buy a bunch of lye. Pay cash, and don't buy it all in the same place, of course, but buy enough to fill a bath tub a couple of times over. Dissolve his body in the tub.

Make sure you've got means to drain the tub, of course. You don't want to have to reach into a foot and a half of lye to pull the stopper because you weren't thinking ahead.

Whatever's left, grind up and use to fertilize the garden.

That was ghastly. Probably popped up from a history of il cosa nostra I browsed a few years back -- though I more concretely remember them dissolving victims in barrels of hydrochloric or sulphuric acid. Don't see why strong alkali shouldn't work just as well, though.

No, wait, I read about using lye in some book about what happens to people -- or, more properly, to people's remains -- after they die. One of the more exotic options (though available domestically) is to be dissolved in lye and flushed down the drain. Something about not wanting to pollute the air with heavy metals and ash and whatnot, though I don't see why the groundwater should suffer, to say nothing of the pollution generated in making that much lye.

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That wouldn't work, pdog. CSI Boston would figure it out.

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It's the landlords. Here's my theory. He turned the knob the wrong way.

The problem was this (apparently): it filled with water and may or may not have been aggitating. Then it just stayed that way. So, he's been down to the basement a few times to turn the knob to advance his close a bit. He came up and lamented he didn't know what to do. (getting the details from him was like pulling wisdom molars). He seemed to be saying that manually turning the knob wasn't working. We made some suggestions which he wasn't listening to and then he said he'd keep turning the knob. We both just turned around and walked away.

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gustavratzenhofer wrote:

That wouldn't work, pdog. CSI Boston would figure it out.

Right. Backyard burial it is.

(Anybody remember the old lady in Sacramento a couple of decades ago who ran a boarding house whose backyard was full of bodies of former tenants whose social security checks she'd been cashing? I don't think they ever pinned anything on her. At least, I think she died before they could. So there's a glimmer of hope...)

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Dorothea Puente (LINK). I've got the details jumbled -- and she was convicted.

I'm not sure this is a path you want to take, k. Gus is a bad influence.

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littlek wrote:

It's the landlords. Here's my theory. He turned the knob the wrong way.

The problem was this (apparently): it filled with water and may or may not have been aggitating. Then it just stayed that way. So, he's been down to the basement a few times to turn the knob to advance his close a bit. He came up and lamented he didn't know what to do. (getting the details from him was like pulling wisdom molars). He seemed to be saying that manually turning the knob wasn't working. We made some suggestions which he wasn't listening to and then he said he'd keep turning the knob. We both just turned around and walked away.

That is all all-time favorite littlek rant. It was beautiful.

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Hmmm. I trust he will be the one calling the landlord...

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patiodog wrote:

Buy a bunch of lye. Pay cash, and don't buy it all in the same place, of course, but buy enough to fill a bath tub a couple of times over. Dissolve his body in the tub.

Bad plan. Straight lye has become a very regulated chemical in the US because it is used to make methamphetamine. If littlek attempts to purchase a large quantity of lye the Feds will be at her door with a search warrant. Just ask any wool dyer or soap maker.

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I already told him that, Green Witch. That's why we decided to stick with the back yard burial plan.

Try to keep up.

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Which is why you buy in small amounts from a many different locations and don't leave a paper trail. It's a one time deal, so the logistical difficulties don't preclude this method as they would for your run-of-the-mill trailer cooker.

Or you could just use Drano, I suppose. Probably not as caustic, though.

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Of course, this thread is a pretty significant paper trail.

Oops.

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I know this is really radical thinking, but I still like my original idea of politely suggesting he find a new place to live.

(Gus, do you really think I can keep up with all your murder schemes?)

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littlek wrote:

It's the landlords. Here's my theory. He turned the knob the wrong way.

The problem was this (apparently): it filled with water and may or may not have been aggitating. Then it just stayed that way. So, he's been down to the basement a few times to turn the knob to advance his close a bit. He came up and lamented he didn't know what to do. (getting the details from him was like pulling wisdom molars). He seemed to be saying that manually turning the knob wasn't working. We made some suggestions which he wasn't listening to and then he said he'd keep turning the knob. We both just turned around and walked away.

i nearly killed him. after what seemed like whatever of pulling information from hime (does turning the knob work? no, what do i do? well, did you try to move it to spinning? yes, it doesn't work...) - well, after hours of that we advise either wringing his clothes or we brainstormed about laundromats in the areas. much sighing, then the genius says: i guess i will just keep turning the knob...
me, adrenaling busting through ears: so it does work when you turn it after all?
yes.
so you did not need advice on handwashing or laundromats?
no.

idiot. asshole. waste of my f*cking time.

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Green Witch wrote:

I know this is really radical thinking, but I still like my original idea of politely suggesting he find a new place to live.

I've lobbied for this as well. It's not been an acceptable solution.

Yet.

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Does he have a scheduled move out day?

(and who will move in when dag leaves to get married? Shocked

)

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