Life at home

Lol! I have actually tried the more extreme ways - as well as every assertive and sweet reason method in the books.

I have (with other outraged housemates)

1. Gathered the cat turds left by one housemate's cat - and left lying in the house by him - into a pile - and put a huge ribbon on top.

2. Gathered said turds and put them in his room - with and without ribbon.

3. Put dirty dishes in offenders' room.

These sorts of tactics are in addition to all the reasonable ones.

If they are gonna change, they do it after a comment or two - with mebbe the odd reminder every so often.

Mmmm, well, HM#1 gets back in a week. Meanwhile, tomorrow, HM#2 leaves until saturday and then leaves again for a few days.

ehm, hmm... not sure if it's the best time, but remember what a good housemate i was <heavenly smile>. want me back? from january 2006 though <batting eyelashes>?

Lol!!!!!!!!!!!

It's an ill wind tha blows 'k and Daggles no good!!!!!!!

Say yes, Li'l k!!!!

I wanna be lilk's house mate.

Lil'k I know you are in pjs, but there is this really cool gay var opened, will you take me there - it only comes alive after mndnight though

I will surely say thank you.

Not a chance. He's delightful company. However, I have a "friend" who suffers from a chronic illness that includes mental degeneration. She has no family, cannot drive, and lives alone. She calls me at the most inconvenient times for things that she sees as emergencies but are really nothing. It is maddening, and it keeps getting worse.

Got two kids and a thug sharing the house. Their Mom cleaned up after them forever. A year ago I started pleading , then shouting about cleaning up after themselves in the kitchen. There was a lot of anger...then I announced that any dirty dishes in the sink would be put in their rooms. Any butts thrown on he ground...the same.
Their rooms are full of dishes and ciggy butts...but I feel a whole lot better....lol

littlek: Does the shower have a removable hair trap? If so, then go out to CVS or some home supply store and pick up a plastic hair trap -- they're widely available and cost less than $2. Make that your own personal hair trap for whenever you take a shower. Just take out the clogged-with-long-Asian-hair trap, put it to one side, take your shower, and then put the old hair trap back in the drain. No confrontation, no passive-aggressiveness, and no cleaning up after your housemates.

littlek--cheer up! I've sent the Dancing Hairy Guy to make you smile! (He promises not to shed at your house!!) :wink:

I mostly had good luck with roommates. I think it's because I have a high tolerance for the annoying habits of others.

There was one guy though that drove me a little nuts. He got laid off from work a few months into our roommate deal, and then for the rest of the time I lived with him, every night was a party. I would be trying to sleep, and he and his friends would be getting stoned and drunk until the wee hours of the morning, yelling, laughing, singing...that got old pretty quick. I didn't do anything about it either. I was much more of a pushover then, I think.

I used to think having a roommate was a good thing, no matter what, because I thought that I'd become a quiet loner if I didn't have somebody around. And now that I don't live with anyone, I'm pretty much a quiet loner. I guess I was right!

Okay, gotta go clean my gun and finish my homemade shrine to Jennifer Aniston now. Later.

Dasha - I mentioned how lovely it was to live with you already.. I have also told you it'd be great for you to live here. We just need to figure out how to handle the gaps. What about fellows at Neiman? Do thay come for 3-6 months at a time, or are they here longer?

Prince - of course, sweetie, anything for you sweetie. Actually, that would be fun. But, you'd have to let me go with you.

Eva - what about a public service which would provide the same things you do for her?

Panzde, note taken.

Joe, that's a possibility, but when she doesn't clean her hair out, the soap suds back up and I've nearly lost balance a few times on their slickness (god I hope that was soap scum).

Kristie - that almost LOOKS like her hairballs.

Taking that gun to work with you, Kicky?

nope, they come for a year. but i can help find someone for half a year - i can post both on BU and Harvard websites....as long as Polly and Richard don't mind...eeeeeh, mebbe we'll talk about this offline... Adam wants to grab a drink on Friday... you in?

I'll meet you guys out if the timing works. You know. We'll talk.

OK, just found time to read the whole thread. (Yup, I should be writing). I think you just need to be liked. I am the same way, so I can truly empathize. I'd rather clench my fists and teeth and clean and grumble then face the messy culprit. But, look. You don't want her for a friend - she is a psycho, and annoying. No harm done if you are firm with her. Next time she asks you to do something for her, say no. Without explanation. Just say no, that won't work today. I can go on Saturday, but not today. Or no, you cannot come, sorry. Think about Lili - she was good that way. She would just tell you 'no' outright when she didn't want to do something, and it was never offending. I mean, it may be less cordial when she's in the kitchen or whatnot, but still better than now, when you have all this builtup resentment. And keep telling her about the hair, each and every time. Just tell her it's not her, it's you, you have a problem with it and it grosses you out, and tell her everyday. I would not lead the passive agressive war with leaving her hair somewhere, i don't think that would work with her. if anything, it would probably make her angry and she would keep not cleaning on purpose. it's ok to not be liked sometimes. especially if you don't like her. next time i'm there and she's there, we can talk about roommates and cleaning - naaah, she won't get hints. she needs direct hammering into her head. she's disgusting, never liked her.

Great advice from dag. The "especially if you don't like her" part was a revelation I had a while back, why did I care if people *I* didn't like liked me or not? Liberating.

a must-have for the shrine --

The way I see it is this: if she doesn't like me to the point of being unpleasant to live with, wouldn't that be worse than a little hair in the drain? I am much better at dealing with slobs than with emotional warfare. I don't care if I never speak to her again after she leaves.

I think if I told her 'no' with no explanation, she'd ask me why not. Then I'd be a stammering idiot again.

And, you're right about the whole hinting thing. She doesn't get it. Me and HM#1 have tried all sorts of stuff - even cleaning in front of her and saying what we cleaned and what's left to clean.

Forgive me if I repeat another post's point, as I skip ahead to say what a great idea... so, one day, not far away, assuming littlek puts the sludgecup back in after her shower, the shower will flood on Princess?

Sorry, I think this is truly passive aggressive, but in the very best way... I like it.

I admit you have to take the sludgecup out, to put your own in, but you can use a papertowel, whatever...

let her learn first hand the error of her ways. Clogged drains cause water to build up, a physical fact.


On saying no and getting why? why? Geez, time you learned to be adament (adamant?) and pleasant at the same time. No, period, no discussion.

"No"
"Why not"
"Because it's not convenient for me"/"Because I don't want to"/"Because I have other plans"

I had one of these room-mates. Hints didn't even begin to make a dent in her state of awareness. Directness did.

"Why can't I come to a party with your friends?"
"Because they don't like you" That was the only thing that stopped her from trying to crash everything I did with other people.