Life at home

Hey, wait, you have my complete respect.

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Well at least Osso's on your side...

(why do you feel like you've lost people's respect?)

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Osso - thanks.

Slappy - Cause I feel like everyone's thinking I'm a schmuck.

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You are not a schmuck; you're in a difficult situation.

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I was just thinking that I really know more than I ever wanted to know about the bovine uterus, but it's really just a short hop from there to, "littlek is a schmuck. schmucky schmuck schmuck schmuck."

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Oooooh, nooooo.

Y'know, nimh and I both mentioned the words passive aggressive. We are probably tuned to that because we can, well, never mind we, I can go in that direction. And besides, y'all have gotten nicely straightforward.

You're worried about being thought a smuck, I'd be about near killing the guy - not for cleanliness, but for not listening, and for never shutting up, and for being so so near.

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I don't see any way you're being a schmuck.

But then again, I'm a f'n shmuck, so what do I know?

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nimh wrote:

ossobuco wrote:
Their righteousness about it was obnoxious...

Oh yes <grimace>

Its like, if you have a type that wants everything spick and span clean, and someone who's messy and leaves things lying around - then you got two incompatible types. And thats annoying for both of them - whichever way you push the lever between the two states of affairs, someone is going to be inconvenienced, and that sucks, thats how I always looked at it. Easy to understand and commiserate with the suckiness. But what got my gander up was the others' attitude that, you know, it wasnt just a question of incompatibility - it was that their way was the right way, how it should be done. Ggrr.

Like, its intrusive and bad to disturb someone with your sound - but to expect the others to take off their shoes when they come home, not be in the kitchen after 11 except for on their toes, always to wipe the counter of every breadcrumb even though noone else cares, etc etc - thats not intrusive, thats just.. normal.

We had that in the other house too. If the Antillean guy cooked at midnight - luckily the kitchen was a closed off and pretty soundproof place - but still, it incovenienced whoever of the two people on that floor would be at home. They wouldnt be woken up but if they were still awake they would hear voices, etc - there'd be smells.. But if they told him, say, no kitchen after ten, then he would be inconvenienced, forced to adapt to eat at times that he wasnt hungry, or that his friends wouldnt come for. Me, I eat late too, though not as late as him, so I sympathised with him, but he could be loud and inconsiderate, the macho, so I sympathised with them too - but I didnt think either was inherently more right or anything - just gotta compromise. Some to learn how to keep things in mind, others to shrug things off.

But yeah - glad those days are over! And I'll stop yakking now, I think the Portuguese guy does enough of that already ;-)

Hmmm. My bedroom is RIGHT off the kitchen though. And I get up between 6 and 7am. So yeah, cooking at 11:30 pm is sorta an issue for me. Call me obsessive and righteous.

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(Don't they make jam out of that?)

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With a name like that...

...well, it's probably crap.

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When I was going on about righteous, I was talking about everything being neat as a pin, as they say, all the time. Reasonable people can differ on that. We who don't run tight ships aren't morally slaggard, a tone I've heard in my time.

House hours, noises, cleanup after cooking... need to be worked out with roommates or lovers. That has to do with thoughtfulness. Rules can be made, but thoughtfulness is hard to teach, and what constitutes thoughtfulness may vary. You, K & D, have worked out a system. This guy is... not only not getting it, but trying to imposition his views.

Wake me up with noise right by my room and I'd be yelping.

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sigh. yes, i think we'll have to tell him things in portuguese or something.

anyway, i would like to report that absolutely nothing negative happened at our home. granted, it could be that all i exchanged with N. was "good morning" and "see you", but he seems to be staying out of our way a lot more. it's kinda sad on one hand, but i have to say a lot more preferable and beneficial for all, including him.

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(Fear then..., whatever works...)

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Phew! Thanks Osso....... I get where you're coming from now (and nimh).

On to other annoyances. I left this thread to do some online research on the tiny black flies which seem to be infesting my bedroom. Starting from the cat box. Yuck. They are fast like fleas, but they fly. Well, they sort of jump-fly. They are all clustered around my lamp which is one of those touch lamps. I touch it once it turns on and three times it's at it's brightest. The forth touch shuts it off. So, from the alley outside, it must look like I'm putting on a light show in here. I think they are fruit flies, but they have firm bodies (I can feel them when I smoosh them) and I didn't think fruit flies were firm at all. Firmness of body isn't something that the websites list as defining characteristics.

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Funny you mention that, I've two of those in my kitchen as we speak.

I wish Pacco liked to eat flies. (Hmmm, my kitchen...)

Night, y'all.

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Night Osso.....

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Little K, you're not a schmuck, ok? We're all just human..

littlek wrote:

Perhaps we need a household meeting.

Yeah, sounds like a great idea! I mean, it's annoying too, but yeah, that's how it works..

And of course, I was just memorising about all my long (and now luckily very much past) flat-sharing experiences.. but of course its different in your case. Because a) theres just the three of you, it needs to be much more finely tuned than when there's seven, or ten; and b) the two of you were already there, its your place, he's coming in new, so he should adapt or find someplace else where he can live more the way he likes.

I mean, its not like with the students houses I lived where you had registered and been on the waiting list to get in that place, so you had sort of an entitlement to be there - he found a place with you because he made you think it'd be ok - if it isnt, he can find a place elsewhere.

Dag, if you really want me to I can, of course... but I dont see how it follows from what I wrote.

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In your 20's it is a lot easier to put up with roommates, plus a lot of other things for that matter. In your 30's it is far more diffucult to adjust and compromise. One doesn't have to be a schmuck or overly obsessive, it is fairly normal behavior.

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Any when you get to be my age, you have no patience at all. I woulda sent his ass packing a long time ago. K & D, kudos to you for trying to help him adjust.

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sorry, nimh. i thought you were talking about me - i was going on about countertops and noise before. i am totally a neat freak in some things, but generally i try to keep that to myself. as in, i will clean more often, especially in the kitchen, but it's not a gesture or a passive aggressive behavior- i don't expect anything in return. it's just me. though in his case it would be nice if he just cleaned the big mess. bread crumbs don't bother me as much as sticky or greasy foodstuffs left on countertops. attracts insects and ants, too.

obviously i sound like i'm on a defensive here, even to myself. guilty as charged. i do have issues that i'm trying to work on. looking for some sort of a happy middle road.

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