Life at home

Grrrr indeed. Time to forget conflict resolution, and remember those boxing lessons. The hospital won't mind if his friends visit him there at 5 am.

Is it possible for you to find a small efficiency for you to live in by yourself?

That way you'd never have to deal with any of this.

If it's a matter of affording, I'd look for something else in my life I could give up, so I could afford it.

Maybe it's just me, but besides littlek, there doesn't seem to be anyone else you're happy with in the long term, or completely. I'd live alone and make it work somehow.

There was another thread a while back, regarding talking about money. You said something akin to that when you have money you spend it and don't think much about where it goes, when you don't have money, you don't spend it.

Maybe when you have money you could put it aside instead of spending it, to pay for your own place during lean times.

Perhaps you'll deny it dag, but you really don't seem like the type of person cut out to have roommates.

You may say you've always had roommates, but, maybe you shouldn't have.

Not starting an argument, just an observation of how there always seems to be problems with roommates, so they should be avoided. Even if it means sacrifice.

oh well.

chai, perhaps you should consider that this is a place for venting. We don't generally come here to talk about how pleased we are about life at home. I know of 5 housemates off the top of my head that Dasha has managed to live just fine with.

Why not?

Isn't that a big part of life at home?

Why not rename the thread, "the crappy parts of life at home"

Honestly? All this time I thought you two were incredible malcontents. I see a thread titled Life at Home, and most of what I see is complaints. Makes me think most of your life at home sucks.

Maybe a disclaimer is is order.

Anyway, when does venting become whining?

Don't worry littlek, dag, I'm not going to hang around on this thread to annoy you two. It's probably been a year or more that I last looked at this thread, and most likely another year or more before I look again.

The first thing that hit me coming on here was that the same venting was going on that's been going one since page one.

I simply wonder why you have the same things to vent/whine about after all this time.

Life's short. Either do something about it, or put up with it.

Venting of this sort does nothing but keep the flame burning.

I think a good vent is when you come up with a solution on your own by listening to your own words, and fix it, or realize how whiney you sound, and knock it off.

Oh well, see you in a year or two. Probably to read how one of you is upset over some cottage cheese left in the fridge.

We vent here because we can't vent at home. I think we used this site to good purpose. As Dasha's last post suggests, this is a way to bitch and whine (yes) before we have a more rational discussion with those we're upset with. If we get the bitchiness out of our voices by coming here first, the face-to-face discussions are less likely to provoke a defensive reaction from the person we confront.

Last time I knew, we are still allowed to start threads about what we want to start threads about and people are still allowed not to participate in threads they don't find appealing.

I agree with a fair bit of this. Part of it has to do with having room-mates past an age where it's really workable. Grown-ups usually don't work well as room-mates. It's barely tolerable in your teens and early twenties. Once you're past about 24-25, it seems like it's best for most folks to find a way to live alone/independently/in a relationship.

I recognize that people will say there are financial reasons for remaining in room-mate situations, but I'd generally recommend cutting back in other areas in life - even if what you end up with is a miniscule studio/bachelor apartment.

and people are also allowed to vent about the venting

Dag's part of this thread will be over soon in any case, as her moving around money thread indicates.

Whoa, OK, i guess in other people's homes (i should just say it: i guess in chai's home) it is perfectly fine if their housemates or spouses bring a party home at 5 AM on Sunday... not something i am used to though.
As i said, this is venting before i talk to my housemate -which i do and will. it worked in the past, it will again.

anyway, those who know a little bit about my life (instead of going on assumptions and specualations) know that i am buying an apartment soon. they also know i had 2 housemates to complain about in 10 years. but whatever, no need for this whatsoever.

you get to vent. chai gets to vent back. it's kinda like life that way.

well, of course we all get to vent. chai had her vents, too...although on this thread it was a response to my venting rather than venting itself...but yes, it's an open forum, freedom of speech and all.

free choice of words, too.

Although I have never been Dasha's roommate, I have at least met her in real life -- unlike you, I believe. She doesn't at all strike me as the type who would be hard to get along with, or talk about any conflicts with, or make reasonable compromises with to prevent future conflicts.

Vent on, Dasha -- you've earned it!


I agree.

thanks, thomas.

haven't been able to have a talk with the housemate yet, he wasn't at home last night, slept somewhere else, but i will.
yesterday resulted in a full blown migraine....it was coming slowly, i was already tired and off-balance on saturday, then had the crappy night sunday night with repeated waking due to noise, nightmarish dreams, and yesterday it peaked in the evening...stuff of nightmares itself. ugh. at least it's over now.

Hi dag!

You know, it's sounds to me like you're ready to establish your own home base (in the absence of available tried & trusty friends to share with). Even a smallish space could be a huge relief from coping with these "surprises". It might be more expensive, but hey, it might also be worth it!

i am buying an apartment this summer.

Yes!!!!!!

Free at last!

...... of pesky, immature share folk. But then, of course, there's the mortgage. But honestly (if you're planning on staying put in one place for a time), I think it's worth it!

Then, if you have/want to, you can choose who you want to share with!

Sounds good to me!

(Just wanted to say: ....I hadn't read any of the preceeding posts till now, dag. I was simply responding to your last statement, OK?)

I know, no worries.

It's been in the plans for quite some time. Until then though, this will have to do.
This housemate is moving out in a couple of weeks though, it's too expensive for him. The other one is perfectly fine.