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The guy I am dating is updating his online dating profile

 
 
Mamzi
 
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 08:19 am
I met a guy online about 3-4 months ago who lives in another state. We met for the first time in person about two months ago. He talked about meeting his parents and friends and taking vacation. I agree those talk was a bit early and I should not take it very serious. He referred to me as girlfriend to someone at a restaurant. He came for another visit about a month ago and is planning on coming back again very soon. He has even asked me if I am open to the idea of moving one day to his town.
However, I noticed something few nights ago that made me hesitant about everything. When I logged into my online dating account to close it, I noticed he has updated his pictures. I am certain that he uploaded the new pictures after we first met. He has logged in recently too. I then did something today that I have a mixed feeling for it; I made a fake account today in that website. He sent a message to that account. I know I should not had done it but I could not resist. I am now certain that he is keeping his options open. I feel very naive for saying no to other guys while seeing this guy. I know I should not feel we are exclusive without having the talk with him first. If he has been interested enough to come all the way to see me, why is he still active on the website? At this point, I am not sure what I should do. Should I bring it up very frankly and ask him about his profile?
 
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ehBeth
  Selected Answer
 
  3  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 10:16 am
@Mamzi,
Mamzi wrote:
I am now certain that he is keeping his options open.

why is he still active on the website?


you've already answered your own question

his options are open

__

3 to 4 months in a real-life, in-person, local dating relationship would be very soon to be discussing future plans

it is crazily soon to be discussing/considering the future in an online/long-distance relationship

you're not even really dating this guy

__

If you like him, stay in touch but confirm that both of you are free to see others at this point.

Date other people locally, visit the guy if you want, keep your own options open and active.
Mamzi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 10:39 am
@ehBeth,
"If you like him, stay in touch but confirm that both of you are free to see others at this point.

Date other people locally, visit the guy if you want, keep your own options open and active."

Thanks for your response.

As much as I like to keep my options open as well and date guys locally while seeing this guy (making trips or spend time with him whenever he comes), personality-wise I just do not like it and I do not think that is something I can do. But I will definitely have the talk with him.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 10:51 am
@Mamzi,
Keep in mind that for a lot of people, dating is a casual thing and not exclusive for some time. i.e. exclusivity doesn't always happen quickly

Dating is like test-driving. It's not a relationship yet, it's dating.
Mamzi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 02:33 pm
@ehBeth,
@ehBeth: Thanks for the advice! It just a bit weird for me how he was super interested and then all of sudden got active on that site.
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