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Fri 5 May, 2017 05:53 am
Hi, I am in this weird situation. For the last months I have been talking to this person met online. Before you jump to any conclusion, he is not a scammer with a fake identity and will explain why...
I skype with this person every day (on cam), on facebook etc.. To be safe, I have checked his facebook, his family, his friends, work colleagues etc.. and they all seem to be really good people. He is tagged in their photos and everything he says about his family and friends turns to be true coz I checked it myself. Sometimes he even shows me his whatsup messages with these friends on cam...so things match up completely.
However, he lies on some of his aspects including his career. I caught him that he does not work with the company he says he works with because once he sent me the location of his company and it was easy to pick up that he works in a different company.
I confirmed my suspect from his facebook friends since some of them are of course some of his work colleagues so it was easy to match things. I found the facebook page of this company and he is even tagged in some company activities' photos on facebook... so I repeat that his identity is real. However, there are even also other lies which he says which I caught...
When confronted, he said that at first he was a bit anxious and afraid to reveal his total real identity since after all for him I am a "stranger too" on a cam. However, though admitting his mistake, he still said a half truth since he did not tell me the truth about his role at this company (which now I know what it is)...thus he covered the first lie with another half-truth....
So, if a person reveals his most important personal details like his real name, family etc, friends etc..... then why would he is not being honest on other issues? is it maybe a case of a pathological liar here, and if not, what reasons may be behind this type of attitude?
As I said in the beginning, it is not a scamming/phishing case ... the person's identity is REAL for sure (I see him on cam, tagged in the official Facebook page of his company etc...)
Are you stalking him? Because thats what it sounds like.
You must have a real live relationship eith this perso - not skype. Then he can get to know you and feel free to share "reality" with you. Right now its a lot of fantasy.
@PUNKEY,
No its not stalking.. I think its normal for a person to do some checks on the identity of a person when meeting online....
My concern is what harm /intention can a person have for telling some truths but lying on other things...
@Cheapr2,
Your story sounds super familiar, like maybe you've posted it before in the last week.
Regardless, the guy is lying about stuff. It takes time and physically spending time with a person to get to know them. Chatting online simply doesn't cut it. This guy could literally be anyone, anywhere. It's easy to make up Facebook accounts, even multiple Facebook accounts.
You ask what's the harm? The harm is you end up asking other strangers on the internet if you should trust this guy or not. You know the answer here.
You said: " I have checked his facebook, his family, his friends, work colleagues etc.. . . everything he says about his family and friends turns to be true coz I checked it . . . .shows me his whatsup messages with these friends on cam...so things match up completely."
OK - you found out a lot about him. He held back on WHERE he works, and admitted it was because he didn't feel totally comfortable with a "stranger" yet. Not letting you know where he works MAY be because that's a part of his life he wanted to be kept private - OR - he has a relationship with someone there. Who knows? Surely, he has a trust issue with you - or just wants privacy in the area of his life.
In any case, unless you are seeing this person IN PERSON, this "relationship" is not real. He seems to understand this.
What is your future plans with this new "on line friend."?
Ever going to meet in person?
'
Spending REAL time with a person is the only way to really get to know them.
'
@Cheapr2,
Uh wow. You can't see any reason whatsoever that a guy you've never met wouldn't want to you where he actually works?
Your lack of understanding could be why you find it so offensive.
Ask yourself why you 'check up on what he tells you'...your reason likely isn't all that dissimilar to why didn't want to tell you where he works.
@Cheapr2,
Cheapr2 wrote:
No its not stalking.. I think its normal for a person to do some checks on the identity of a person when meeting online....
My concern is what harm /intention can a person have for telling some truths but lying on other things...
I don't think this is normal. When I meet people online, I don't check on their identity. I also take steps to hide my identity online.
People have a right to privacy even in the age of Google. You can meet someone in real life, and get to know them little by little until you learn to trust them the way humans have always done.
It isn't normal for people to do background checks on each other right after they meet.
@Cheapr2,
By the way; if I met you online, and I found out that you did this sort of background check on me, that would be the end of our relationship.
I value my privacy. This kind of thing would bother me.
Google Stalking - there was a feature on the TV the other day. Seems like Generation Z doesn't think a thing about it.
@Cheapr2,
For the same reason people usually tell lies in other aspects...
@maxdancona,
I don't like the idea of a deep scouring of the internet looking for every little detail, but a simple Google search of the person isn't such a bad thing. From a females perspective, meeting up with a total stranger (even in a busy place), a little due diligence is appropriate. If the guy has an arrest record or is a sex offender, those are good things to know to keep yourself safe. I would personally not be offended if I knew somebody googled my name before meeting up for the first time. The things I want to have private, I keep off the internet, so my privacy is protected.
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