My dominion is feeling pretty crummy

I am so glad that Mo had fun seeing them and enjoyed the visit. Whew.

I am with you (without knowing any details) in feeling both furious & incredibly sad. They've lost so much. Whatever were they thinking?

Guess I'll go blow out that candle now.

The candle really did help.

And all of the good thoughts.

Thank you.

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.

Knowing you've got back-up is a very, very good feeling.

Oh, good!

I've been watching the clock and doing time zone conversions for the last several hours. Glad that it went so well, and especially their attitude.

Boomerang--

You survived! Great.

Remember, some people are charming for hours--but only for hours. Unfortunately, these people have children. They aren't "bad people"--they just make lousy parents.

Silver lining:

1. You survived and gained the wisdom to approach the next visit with less dread. You might even allow yourself to feel mildly hospitable.

2. Mo had a good time--and acquired some more loot. Perhaps now that bridges are being built, you can suggest a shopping list. Children's books are expensive--but worth the money. They might feel like pillars of the community shopping in a Real Bookstore.

3. Perhaps Wicked Winnie can be the guest of honor at an auto de feu[/I when the weather is a little warmer. Nothing builds family feeling like a rousing chorus of "Ding-dong, the Wicked Witch is Dead".

4. Hold your dominion.

phew

<time to exhale>

i was thinking about this social event on my way home

<exhaling>

Sometimes, especially after a day like today, I sit down, breathe deeply and ask:

IS THIS MY LIFE? MY LIFE? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS! I'M NOT SMART ENOUGH. I'M NOT NOTHING ENOUGH. NOT FOR THIS.

Here is part of the deal:

Mo's grandma was a preschool teacher. When she gives gifts they are really perfect: crazy window clinging dinosaur stickers, handmade quilts and pajamas (Ms. Winnie is an excellent seamstress) plus piles and piles of books from her collection (I'll bet she brought 20 books over today).


While we avoided many of the Big Issues today in favor of a get acquainted thing, we did talk about Winnie. I told them that if they were serious about re-establishing any kind of relationship with Mo that Winnie had to go (along with several other behaviors).

They are hard people to hate and I'm no good at hating in the first place.

Neither I nor they have any idea why their son lied about us terminating his rights. (We would if we could but we can't -- yet.)

When I asked them about this they said - they thought he must have said that to try to gain their sympathy or support. They said they told him that they thought it was a good idea. Judging by the fact that their son signed on to the court petition to give us custody after this conversation, I think they are telling the truth.

They seem sincere in their desire to see us adopt Mo.

They seem sincere in their desire to re-establish some kind of relationship with Mo and they are willing to take it slow and they are willing to let me call the when's and where's and why's and how's.

And damnit damnit damnit it will never ever be easy where Mo's family relationships are concerned so how will I ever know what is best?

Does anyone ever know what is best?

Welcome to my "spray and pray" life.

<sigh>

Oh gosh.....

..... maybe SHE is way I'm so whack about pre-schools......

MO'S DAD SIGNED ON TO THE COURT PETITION TO GIVE YOU CUSTODY?????

Am I misreading that -- is that different from signing over parental rights?

This could be win-win yet.

Sounds really encouraging, even if I misread that part. Nobody knows what's best, but you're pretty dang smart.

Ha about the preschool thought..! :-)

Yes, you read that right - both Mo's mom and dad signed on to the court petition to give us psychological parent status.

But both of them met with our attorney and our attorney explained exactly what that meant.

They know their rights have not been terminated.

When?

I can't tell if this is a new development or not. You already have psychological parent status, I thought?

Yes, we went to court last summer.

They were both served with papers regarding the court case. They could either come to court or sign on giving us custody.

If they contested it they would have to go through drug testing, etc.

They didn't want to contest it in court so they signed on.

Ok, so not new. This:



...made me think that something happened after a recent conversation about their son lying about you terminating his rights. Like, you found out he lied recently --> then you discussed it with them after that, they said it was a good idea for you to terminate his rights --> and after THAT, (very recent), he signed some court petition.

<heartbeat returning to normal>

I'm sorry. I'm in a bit of a state.

They said that they told him that they thought (ugh, my hairdresseser's sister's cousin) that it would be best if we did terminate his rights.

When we served him with papers he told his parents that we were terminating his rights and they said they said (ugh - that cousin thing) "good".

Whether they really said "good" or they said something else we may never know. But we haven't heard from Mo's dad in a long time......

Oh you're entitled to statehood. Thanks for filling me in, makes (more) sense now.

That does sound encouraging though about his dad.

<everything crossed>

and everything crossed here too

what a horrible unsettling situation