I had to call God into my office Friday afternoon

He SMILED!!!!!!

Stop smiling, Snood. I think we're outnumbered in the poll.

Round up some of the factory workers. Call in the midwestern office crew. They'll understand. And, Get Falwell on the phone for me. This just won't do.

Have you SEEN the break room today??? Everyone's in there talking about this and nothing is getting done!

Whadya mean WE, white girl?

actually snood squinney is a good part native american...so watch your scalp homes.... :wink:

Latest rumours;

God is being courted by Microsoft. They are offering him a position as their VP in charge of corporate development.

Bush & Co. have approached God about helping Karl Rove out on the next campaign.

God has gone to India. He's angling in on a minor positions in the Hindu pantheon. Nothing serious, he just wants something that will keep him occupied.

He did mention football, Gus, we know how important that is to the folks in Midland-Odessa. (that's Texas for you Aussie-folks, to whom we are in great debt owing to dlowen's contribution of Randy Newman's genius. Is there any one else like him? Has there ever been anyone else like Randy, I mean besides Oscar Wilde).... Oh, here the quote:

God said:


I love you, Eva, in the real Christian love kind of love. I only fired the great pompous overbearing bathrobe wearing mean-as-a-snake God, the one who kills children with earthquakes and then grins as the Hindu guru proclaims that those who died must have had some karma attached to them or the bishop who explained this morning on NPR that "all of us are tainted by sin and thus deserving of punishment." Even the eighteen month old on the cover of US News, I guess.

By the way, I think God is still available for personal appointments, answering specific prayers of individuals and students. "Please God, don't let us have a pop-quiz today." and "God, give me the strength to understand my husband's obtuseness and make me continue to see the goodness in him and stay fully in love with him, thickhead and all."

The God who is fired is the one who is supposed to be the resivoir of grace for all mankind, the Buddha, the most Holy Allah, the Lord of the Universe, Ganesh, the Christ, the one who by His very Being is supposed to lead all humanity to love and who hasn't even seemed to try lately. Maybe he is busy with some other universe, as Sandburg said.

But you are right about taking his place. All of us who fire God, who send him packing two space-time warps over, are now required to fill in for him. So beginning today I've become more aware of those souls around me, not that I've been much of a slacker in that before now, but now I'm looking for reasons to be more a means to peace than I ever have before, more a font of grace, more a mind of wisdom and love. And before any scoff, i say, i do this humbly and without regard of reward, other than seeing the joy on the faces around me. I cannot do but this.

and I will try to answer all emails more quickly, but no promises.

Joe (Maybe this is what He wanted all along.) Nation

I know, Joe. I did say you brushed right by it, didn't I?

My point was your not attaching enough importance to football, in a deity type way.

I absorbed your every word.

Gus (always vigilant and looking for deity/football crap) Ratzenhofer

Ahhh...Joe...if you are taking over the job...I wanna talk to you about the Powerball jackpot.

But maybe we can do this in private.

12-17-19-24-33 6

Hey, Frank, I took down a bunch of the local boys in a Texas Hold em tourney. Walked away with 1200.00.

Not bad for four hours work.

It's a proud, proud day.

The last time I saw God he was on an ice floe drifting toward the high sea. He looked like Henry Kissinger ...

Congratulations, Gus.

I've got a tourney this Saturday night. Should be 50 players at $50 buy in...so our top pay will be in that neighborhood.

Nice neighborhood!

We play once a month.

I made the final table last tourney (6 deep)...and I took third money the tourney before.

I'd like the top spot this Saturday.

I'll let you know.

When Mc Arthur met with Hirohito the first time...the talk among the grunts was that it was one god meeting another god.

joe, on your last post , i tried my cursor on your underlined word "try" .I though it was a sponsored link.( a spoink)

Wouldn't it be great if He was out there right now floating in the Indian Ocean on a piece of fishing boat in the hot, hot sun. Looking up he wonders "What the hell was I thinking?"

Joe (Remember, now that He's gone, we have to take care of each other) Nation.

Many do return to the scene of their own crime ...

What's really obvious and sad is how much time and effort is put into the constant harang and ridicule of things having to do with God.

Like a buncha disgruntled adolescents, teasing the girl who wouldn't give 'em any.

you guys have met girls who wouldn't give you any?