I had to call God into my office Friday afternoon

I had to call God into my office on Friday afternoon.

This was going to be difficult, but for the best, really. I had gone over what had occurred several times with several of the best people and we were all agreed. It fell to me to deliver the message.

There was a blast of cold air and then His presence could be felt all around me.

"Please, have a seat and could you do something about the smoke?"
"Uh,….. aren't you supposed to be quaking in fear, or on your knees or something?"
"Not for purposes of this meeting. Please, uh, take some form and, any form really, and make yourself comfortable."

There was a blinding flash of light and I fell to the floor. When I managed to get to my feet, I saw Him sitting in one of the chairs in front of my desk.. He looked like my best friend from high school, Giles. He smiled at me as I dusted off my pants. It was a very nice smile. Beatific, the sisters would have said.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice.."
"No problem."
"..but I wanted to get this out of the way before the weekend."
"Get what out of the way?"
"Well, Giles, er, God, I called you here today to go over your performance record.
"My performan….?"
"Lately, and several times, some would say, multiple times before, you have either allowed thing to happen to, or worse perhaps, caused things to happen to humanity that are just no longer acceptable."
"I work in mysterious ways."
"Now see, that's the kind of attitude that leads us to the situation we are in today."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, and the rest of humanity I think, is in agreement with me, that we need to find someone more dependable in your job."
"But I've always worked in mysterious ways, you guys are just supposed to be in wonder, that's the way it's supposed to work!."
"Yeah, but times change, the world you created is vastly different now then 100,000 years ago, surely you see that?"
"You're just upset about the tsunami."
"The tsunami?!! The tsunami is just the half of it!! What about the Congo?
"Well, .."
"And Dafur?"
"Now Dafur is one..."
"And the ebola virus? And AIDs?"
"You're not giving me...."
And that's just Africa I'm talking about.!! The whole world's a mess and millions of people are suffering."
"Well, there have always been wars and plagues and the poor we shall always have.."
"Excuse me, then what's the point?"
"What?"
"What's the point of being able to connect with a Supreme Being if that Supreme Being is powerless to prevent harm to those he calls his children?"
"Well, I'm not exactly powerless. I do answer prayers occasionally and there's the miracle or two now and again, and I do inspire some humans to greatness. You see them thanking me all the time right after they score a touchdown."
"You think that balances things out?"
"I think some people are very happy to have me in their lives."
"You think any of them are the parents of children with aggressive onset leukemia?"
"What?"
"Or any of the millions who tonight will be in darkness and not know when they will eat again or find the families or feel any form of love in their lives."
"Now wait a minute…."
"Or any of the hundreds of thousands of believers of one form of you who will be killing some hundreds of thousands of believers of some other form of you before dawn tomorrow?"
"Now a lot of my believers are full of love and happiness."
" Yeah, the comfortable ones. I have to tell you, God, it just not good enough. Life is too hard and you are not making it any easier."
"Am I supposed to make life easier? Hey, your reward is in heaven."
"Oh cut that out. You and I both know that if that were true you wouldn't even bother about putting us here. What kind of a God creates some one, gives them a chance at life and then, if they fail, puts them in Hell. What kind of manipulative son of a bitch would that God be?"
"Er.. I work in mysterious ways, what can I tell you?"
"What I can tell you is that it's over."
"What's over?"
"The little game you've been playing. The God of Mercy and Love ---- all the while his children burn and bleed. So we've had it. You're fired."
"I'm fired? Heh Heh, you can't fire me."
"I just did. Your services, no pun intended, are no longer required."
"But, but.."
"But what? Nothing's going to change for us humans, and you've been no help at all lately. So we'd rather take our chances alone than be dependant upon someone who is not dependable. So thank very much, it was a good run. I wish you well in your other universes, please see Marge at the end of the hall for your final tithe check."
"The world may stop revolving, spinning slowly down to die."
"Yeah, my regards to your dad and David Gates. Shut the door on your way out, please."


It's Sunday. So far so good.

Joe (someone had to do it) Nation