Tue 14 Nov, 2017 06:31 am
How do I know if my wife has been cheating on me. Are these signs to look out for?
First of all About us: we have been married 15 years and have we have two homes. Our house on the hill and our beach house. We spent more time at the house on the hill with our dogs.
About my wife, she is down to earth, smart, confident, outgoing, tall attractive blonde (beach surfer girl) that likes to stay active and fit. She is in her 50's with a great sense of humor and never had children. Guys always come up to her and chat her up.
The things I have noticed over the past couple years:
She doesn't look me in the eyes.
Spending less time together and when we are she gets irritated easily.
We haven't been intimate for more than five years (no sex).
I found Hidden Vibrators and dildo with extra batteries.
Got a Gym membership.
Wearing Sexy underwear when she goes out.
Has Girls nights out getting drunk and saying she is meeting guys for her single friends.
Change passcode on cell phone.
Receives texts and deletes them right away.
Has a second email address.
Extra clothes and towels in her car.
Stayed at friends house with a group of friends and then stayed two extra nights with him after everyone left. I found out later.
The last couple months we have spent a lot less time together she's out of town at our beach house now.
Last few days found out she was hanging with her ex boyfriend who's wife is out of town for two months working. Also he and his wife don't have a great relationship. They have been going out for lunch, dinner and movies.
Found out last night she was wasted drunk bar hopping with "a really nice guy" she met at a bar. They were just talking she said. She doesn't remember when she got home this morning. Her sister who is divorced and single didn't know she was on the phone with me late this morning when she blurted out "looks like you and that one cute nerdy guy had a great time last night! hahaha" phone muffled and she said "I was trying to set her up with him " but then later in our conversation she slips up when I asked “how's your sisters knee was doing?”, she said good that she was dancing with some guy all night.
And another thing she said this evening when she called me, that she was just heading back home from brunch and going to cancel going to dinner at her aunts house. No biggie but brunch was at Cracker barrel with a friend Patti and her daughter and grandkids at noon. But also earlier in the conversation she said her sister left to drive the six hours back home around 11:30ish and didn't go to brunch.
But then later said her sister went to hang out with Patti at her house this afternoon for a bit after she left the house.
Uh I don't know, I'm confused and it's 7pm and my wife just called and said she is home but her cell phone is on red and not changed, also she can't find the charger. So to not call back that she will call me in the morning.
I'm not the jealous type and don't worry myself about it, but should I be concerned? Should I ask her? I trust her with everything but the last few years have me a little bit suspicious about her social life. I know I sound gullible but I'm not, I'm trusting and don't think Like that.
What do you think? Please be honest.
Your wife is a drinker, for sure, and you've also caught her in lies.
Time for you two to have a conversation. Here's an opener (and don't shout this, just ask it): "What's going on?"
If she lies again, then you will know where you stand and you won't need proof - a person who is untrustworthy is hardly good mate material, even if they haven't been doing the horizontal tango with anyone else.
If she says she wants to work on things, then at least make an effort if you feel she is sincere. If you don't think that's the case, then why hang around?
Thanks. I've asked her what's going on before and she said it's stress. She is not much of a drinker and is not common for her to get wasted drunk. These last few months have been a little bit more though and getting stoned to. We don't have pot at home. She is supposed to be back home tomorrow morning.
Send your wife flowers at work from "anonymous". If she does not bring the flowers home from work then she is uncertain they are from you and therefore likely cheating on you...