10
   

I need advice from you

 
 
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 11:01 am
I made a post not long ago, !!!(https://able2know.org/topic/424766-1)!!!!but people stopped answering, so I made a new one, sorry, just need advice. But if you look at my last post, it's about a guy I met at the supermarked and he started talking to me. And I think he is very attractive and I thought we had chemistry. Well, turns out he had a girlfriend and a kid. And he is not from where I live, he comes here for work. I stalked him a bit and found his gf. I've been crying and crying over this patethic situation. And I don't know how I can be so "in love" with him. I've never been so attracted to anyone, that I'm to him. And I know that there is nothing I can do now that he has got a family.

How do I get out of my head and start getting over this guy I barely know. It's like I turned 14 again, and I feel so stupid. But I wonder why he talked to me like that, and my co-workers didn't have a convo with this guy. Am I blind or is there still a chance he is interested?

I need advice... Sad
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 11:32 am
@vizuella,
Is this the guy you were making it a point to walk your dog by his house? I take it this house is where he is staying for his job but he really lives someplace else where he has a family.

Well, that makes this easy. First, you are not "in love" with him. You barely know him. A few conversations is all you have had. Second, could it be he was simply being friendly? Someone working away from his family may simply appreciate a friendly face and someone to talk to. Third, and most important, he is attached. Does not mean you cannot talk to him. But stop imagining a relationship with him that does not and likely will not exist. Whenever you start thinking about him, tell yourself that he is attached and think about something else.

vizuella
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 11:37 am
@CoastalRat,
Yes, it's that guy. He is not from the same country as I am, so he his family is in his country. I was really hoping he was singel. I guess you're right... He is attached. It just sucks... He was really something..

I appreciate your comment tho, thank you Smile
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 11:43 am
@vizuella,
Not a problem. I'm sure it is tough sometimes. You meet someone, get your hopes up and then find out he/she is attached. Sucks big time. But you're better off in the long run taking a pass and finding someone who is unattached.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 11:58 am
@vizuella,
vizuella wrote:
is there still a chance he is interested?


he has a family. does it matter if he is interested?
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 12:02 pm
@vizuella,
vizuella wrote:

And I don't know how I can be so "in love" with him. I

But I wonder why he talked to me like that, and my co-workers didn't have a convo with this guy.




you've got a crush on him - it's really not the same as loving someone or being in love. you have to know people to fall in love with them. you have to know them very well to love them.

it can be very intense but a crush is a crush.

__

he may have talked to you because you seemed like a friendly, non-threatening person. he may be lonely without his girlfriend and child and was hoping to find some friends locally. with your crush, you're not a great candidate for that.

__

chat politely with him when you see him. don't avoid him. behave as normally as you can. he still needs local, friendly, faces.

__

Better luck on the next crush turning into something else.
vizuella
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 12:14 pm
@ehBeth,
Yes I know, but it is just so intense right now. Hopefully it will pass. I'm gonna try to behave normally, because there is a chance I'll meet him again.... And yeah, it is not the best thing to be friends with him, my mind would twisted the whole thing around and I would still have hopes for him. Crushes are the worst and most intense thing ever..

Thank you tho Smile
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 12:18 pm
@vizuella,
Once your mood calms a bit ... flirt.

Flirting doesn't have intention. It should make both people feel a bit happier/lighter.

Flirt with everyone - men/women/boys/girls/babies/dogs. Really.
mm25075
 
  3  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 12:25 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

Flirt with everyone - men/women/boys/girls/babies/dogs. Really.


LOVE this advice Smile
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 12:34 pm
@mm25075,
I don't remember, mm, whether I've mentioned that I'm happy to see you back.

And, that ehBeth, she is quite often right about behaviors like flirting.
hightor
 
  3  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 12:39 pm
@ehBeth,
Quote:
Flirt with everyone - men/women/boys/girls/babies/dogs. Really.

That's just so sweet. I'm wearing a smile.
0 Replies
 
vizuella
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 01:24 pm
@ehBeth,
Thanks, I will.... But the thing is.. I don't get attracted to a lot of men, usually when it happens, it is very intense, and I tend to make them "my one and only", even if its just me getting all up in my head. It's very hard to control. But when it happens so rarely, I just can't help but think it is my only chance. Even tho all of this might be bullshit.

And I really like your advice.. Wise wise woman Smile
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 01:28 pm
@vizuella,
vizuella wrote:

Crushes are the worst and most intense thing ever..




Incorrect.

There are many more worse and intense things.

vizuella
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 01:33 pm
@chai2,
Even tho it isn’t. It sure feels like it when you’re crushing. I can’t help the way I feel. I wish..
0 Replies
 
mm25075
 
  3  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 01:34 pm
@ossobucotemp,
ossobucotemp wrote:

I don't remember, mm, whether I've mentioned that I'm happy to see you back.

And, that ehBeth, she is quite often right about behaviors like flirting.


Aww thank you Osso. I was not sure anyone would remember me much since it has many years but I am glad to be back amongst the a2k family Smile

*bats eyelashes playfully*
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 01:40 pm
@mm25075,
Hugs!
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Sat 11 Nov, 2017 05:00 am
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

Flirt with everyone - men/women/boys/girls/babies/dogs. Really.


Misread, thought you wrote fart. That's another supermarket I can't visit anymore.
SDgregs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2017 07:57 pm
@vizuella,
Hi Vizuella. Things could go awry if the gf were to find out and/or get involved (if they're together, that is). So, acting on your feelings might affect other people like the gf and kid. If he is interested, hopefully he will do the respectable thing and break things off with gf. Or...sometimes when we really like someone it can seem like they have the same feelings for us but, maybe their just really flirty, ya know? There's also a good chance he likes you too, just be careful. If he's still in a relationship and trying to pursue you that says a lot about his moral compass. And now that you are aware of the gf and kid that shifts some responsibility to you if you decide to engage knowing that he's in a relationship. I don't know, maybe I'm getting to deep! The URL for original post didn't work so sorry if my advice sucks, ha.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2017 08:08 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

ehBeth wrote:

Flirt with everyone - men/women/boys/girls/babies/dogs. Really.


Misread, thought you wrote fart. That's another supermarket I can't visit anymore.


Yeah. I can't go to Howard Johnsons anymore (punch line from an old joke)
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2017 08:16 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

Misread, thought you wrote fart.


I like to work with the classics

http://fartshare.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/fart-proudly_FartShare.jpg
 

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