6
   

Cheating with my step brother..

 
 
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:09 am
So, I lost my virginity to my step brother when I was younger. Fast forward 13 years & we are both married with children, but have been having sex regularly for the past 4 years. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m in love with him, but we both are afraid of what our families would say to actually act on anything. Neither of us are happy in our marriages. We’ve tried to stop seeing each other, but it never last more than a week or so. Should I just try my best to move on and let this go? Any advice is appreciated!
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:14 am
@mconn1889,
mconn1889 wrote:
Neither of us are happy in our marriages.


why are you still in your marriage?

whatever else you do, let your husband go so he can be with someone who loves him
mconn1889
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:18 am
@ehBeth,
I’ve filed for a divorce and he refuses to sign. He thinks we need to be together for our children.
chai2
 
  4  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:27 am
@mconn1889,
So the problem isn’t your step brother, but the fact your husband won’t sign the divorce paperwork.

Yeah, but it wouldn’t be such clickbait to just title your these Husband Won’t Sign Divorce Papers.
mconn1889
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:40 am
@chai2,
Because the problem isn’t about my divorce, it’s about the fact that my brother is the reason for it.
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:48 am
@mconn1889,
mconn1889 wrote:

I’ve filed for a divorce and he refuses to sign. He thinks we need to be together for our children.

So? It's a contested divorce. Take it to court. But keep in mind, you don't have a leg to stand on. You might as well drop the bomb on your husband.

Quote:
I’m in love with him, but we both are afraid of what our families would say to actually act on anything.

You basically slowly destroying two families with your history of selfishness. Get it over with... so at least they can start healing/going to lifelong therapy.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:57 am
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

So the problem isn’t your step brother, but the fact your husband won’t sign the divorce paperwork.


yup

ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 09:59 am
@mconn1889,
Get a lawyer, get a court date.

Get it over with.

Your relationship with your step brother is something you can deal with once you're single.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 11:06 am
@mconn1889,
mconn1889 wrote:

Because the problem isn’t about my divorce, it’s about the fact that my brother is the reason for it.


So it's not a problem that the person you don't want a divorce from won't sign the papers?

I see.

Plus, he's not your brother. He's your step brother.

No blood connection, no incest, could just as well be the guy down the street.

Get a lawyer.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2017 11:08 am
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

chai2 wrote:

So the problem isn’t your step brother, but the fact your husband won’t sign the divorce paperwork.


yup




We don't always see eye to eye, but when we do, it's a beautiful thing.

0 Replies
 
cruzlorenzo
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 06:52 am
@mconn1889,
Are you sure, you will be happy together?
0 Replies
 
xgendercamboy
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2017 04:22 pm
@mconn1889,
He isnt Blood related which makes it fine in my opinion. Its only through the "step". Not sure what advice i can offer but Love is love, and if your heart yearns for him then by all means forget the opinion of others and follow your heart
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2017 10:38 pm
This step brother MAY be a sibling and share the same mother or father as the OP.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2017 11:22 am
@PUNKEY,
A step sibling is by definition not blood related.

If they were, they would be half siblings.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Nov, 2017 02:31 am
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
No blood connection, no incest, could just as well be the guy down the street.


You're right about there being no blood connection or incest, but a step sibling is not the same as someone down the street.

Over here children who have been brought up as siblings can't legally marry. I don't know about America but these things tend to be similar.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Dec, 2017 08:14 pm
@izzythepush,
It's not legal in the US either, however I cannot vouch for the cretins in Alabama who are hung ho for Roy Moore.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Dec, 2017 09:59 pm
@glitterbag,
glitter, I can't find anything saying step brothers and step sisters can't marry in the usa, whether they were brought up in the same household or not.

Could you please site where you got that information?

In any case, even if it is illegal in some states for 2 people who share no blood to marry, they could easily cross the state line and marry there.

If the thought is that it's illegal or wrong because they were brought up in the same house, wouldn't the same apply to non blood related people who grew up in any number of common/communal living situations? What about foster children from a wide array of parents, who are raised from early childhood to adulthood in the same home?

I can't get my head around what would be wrong if there is no blood relation, and both parties enter the relationship willingly, as adults.


izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Dec, 2017 02:07 am
@chai2,
Whether or not something is morally wrong is not the same as it being legal. There are cultural reasons why people brought up as children together can't marry, not least the need to widen the gene pool. That's the same reason people have holiday romances, and relationships at college, all with people who were no way near when they were growing up.

Then there's the awkwardness of family reunions at Christmas and the like.

Not moralising, just pointing out how tricky things can get.
0 Replies
 
 

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