what now...

Diane--

Great that you've followed up on the therapy suggestion. Just as Mr. X needs AA right now to straighten himself out, you need someone to talk to who can help you in your own self-discovery.

Neither you nor Mr. X are in any position for a Deep, Meaningful and Emotionally Complicated Relationship.

Good luck.

This is like watching a horrific car wreck, without the carnage.

re
well he called last night while i was at the dr. I wasnt going to call him back but my parents said that was rude and i should. My dad told me that i was ridiculous for asking him the questions i asked about what was going on with us. He said, you were the type of girl that i didnt call back before i met mom. so i called him back, left a message (he was at an aa meeting). I didnt think i'd hear from him again last night but he called back. My roomate's boyfriend was over and we were talking and I saw him calling, I didn't answer, he didn't leave a message, then he called back again…by accident I picked up and we got disconnected. Then he called back and I didn't answer. Then I called him back and he answered. We only talked for about 3 minutes. Then he asked if I had picked up and got disconnected earlier and I just said, oh no I don't think so. I asked if I could call him tomorrow, He was like, oh yeah I was just calling you back. I said, ok I'll call you tomorrow. He said alright bye kind of weird. I later sent a text saying, I hope I didn't seem rude earlier, I figure youre in bed now. I'm worried that he heard my roomate's boyfriend's voice and now thinks I had another guy over or something.

diana--

Women who play games with men are not building true and enduring relationships.

This guy is a person, not a toy.

re
Cin-i might be immature, but at least i'm not a bitch (;

I know this guy is not a toy Noddy, i dont think i really played games last night...part of me feels like he'd be relieved if i didnt call him back, then the other part says, well he does keep calling me and he said he wants to continue talking to me. However i feel like he and i are looking for different things right now. I"m trying to decide, do i cut ties and find someone who can give me what i want or do i stick around for what he wants because i'm so into him right now.

Re: re


Oh no, you didn't play games. Not at all. You called him. He called you. You didn't answer, knowing it was him. You pick up by mistake and hang up. Then when you finally decide to talk to him, you tell him that you didn't pick up earlier and hang up. Geesh, do I have that straight? But you were not playing games? Then when someone on this forum says you were acting like a 14 yr old, you are so mature that you begin calling names. Remember Diana, you are the one posting all the details of this relationship on here for comments, so just because you get some you don't like is no reason to begin calling others names.

Oh, and for the record, the post did sound like it was coming from a kid and I do think you were playing games with him. When you call someone and they return the call, be mature enough to pick it up and talk to him. If you are busy, tell him so and that you will call him back. But don't play games. It only reinforces the belief that you are immature, even if you aren't.

I'm done now. You can begin calling me names at your convenience. :wink:

It seems all of diana's threads end up sooner or later
that way. Diana you're behaving very egotistical and
childish.

This is a man who's battling alcohol, he's trying to
get sober and attend AA meetings. The last thing he
needs, is someone playing mind games with him.

I said it once before and I'll say it again: it's all about
you, you and you. Actually you get what you deserve.

Unless you change your ways and start thinking about
the other person's needs before yours, we'll see
many many diana threads like this. You're running
in circles, always chasing the same pattern. Brake
the pattern and you're one step ahead.

But to do so, needs courage and maturity of which
you lack both.

Re: re




So true....

Diane, I will say it again....this isn't a good situation. He is in AA and the only person he needs to worry about is himself. Not about some woman who is (yes I am going to say it too) playing games and acting like a teenager. By being in the picture, you are doing more harm than good.

As well, you need to worry about just you, not someone else who has problems you can' t begin to fix.

Walk away while you can, and tell him when he is clean and sober and you are emotionally secure, you two can meet up again. If it's meant to be it will be. If not, then you'll be glad you walked away when you did.

re
well i just called him. I said i was sorry if i seemed rude yesterday. He seemd fine, but he was like, well you did kind of have an annoyed tone in your voice, was there som heavy stuff going on with your friend? I just said, no i'm sorry if sounded annoyed i wasnt. Then he said, well you owe me, i guess i've been rude to you a few times. So we just talked for a few minutes. he was helping clean his cousins apt then was going to an aa meeting tonight. He said he wouldnt be home until around 10 so 'maybe we'd skip the phone tonight' then he chuckled after he said that.

as i said earlier, i am trying to distance myself...it was silly of me to do what i did yesterday. I guess i want to get to the point where i can just lightheartedly talk to him without my emotions getting involved since i have no clue what will happen or when i'll see him again. this just isnt what i want. I am totally attracted to him, and have feelings for him, but it's difficult for me to have feelings for someone who i dont even know when i'll see again.