Getting Rid of "Friends"

I once told a friend that I wanted nothing further to do with her. There is a whole huge story behind it, but basically she was being a real ass to me over phone. She was pretty much a spoiled selfish brat even though she was 30. I just had it up to here (hand waaaaaay over my head) and said….”that’s it, I want nothing further to do with you.” And I haven’t.

just keep acting like a dick and she won't want to be your friend. She won't feel hurt either if she doesn't like you either.

no, not for someone you work with.
[quote="on the "neighbors" thread, sozobe"]both of us are naturally cautious about developing friendships, especially with someone you can't escape if it doesn't work out.[/quote]
this is excellent advice for 'work friends' as well.

i got burned once by a 'friend' at work.
without getting into the sordid details, she tried, unsuccessfully, to get me fired by complaining to HR.

since then i've chosen my work friends verrrrrry carefully...

Yup. I me too. Had this girl I met at work. She was nice enough and we chumed around at work, went out to lunch and took smoke breaks together. But she had this annoying habit of pulling the "I'm older than you so I know better...you'll understand some day" with everything. She thought she knew everything. It didn't bug me at first because she was the one with the f-ed up life, not me, and she was only 5 or so years older than me so it wasn't like I was talking to my grandma who really has been through everything....
I just ignored her on the occasions where we'dOne time, she asked me to go out with her dancing. I thought, what the hell. So I did. From that moment on, it was like we were best friends. And I didn't want to be best friends. Well, she got a new job and left. I thought I was home free. But she called me. A lot. She wanted to go out again. She got engaged and told me (mind the told me part, not asked) that she was excited I would be doing her bachelorette party and that I was going to be her maid of honor. What? I hardly knew this chick. Well, I got to the end of my rope and decided we couldn't be friends anymore. So, I just stopped answering my phone when she called. Stopped returning her messages. Stopped existing as far as she was concerned.

And I haven't heard from her since. Mean? Yeah. Effective. Even more so. I felt guilty for exactly 3 seconds and then realized how much worse I'd feel if I had to deal with her still. That puts things into perspective.

Kristie, I don't think that's mean. I think it was the right thing to do.

A friend and I met this girl in a bar once, and ended up becoming friends for a while. As time passed, it became increasingly obvious that she was absolutely insane. We'd go out, and she'd meet a guy, have sex with him in his car within about an hour, then get mad at him when he didn't call her for a date. Then, after leaving her husband because she said she couldn't stand him anymore, she runs into him one night, while he's on a date with some other girl, and becomes insanely jealous and mad at him. Plus, at the time, she was also dating (or maybe it was just screwing--she got those two confused a lot) a married guy! Nuts!

Anyway, I used to be the guy she'd call and cry to every couple days or so when her self-destructive idiotic behavior would come back to bite her in the ass. One day, while she was crying at me over the phone and telling me that her psychic had told her that she and the married guy were meant to be together, I just lost it. I interrupted her in mid-sentence and told her I could not take any more of her bullshit, and to never call me again. She cried and begged for a couple more minutes, and I hung up on her. She called me one time after that, and left me a message saying how selfish I was, and that was the end of it.

I have to say, it was incredibly satisfying.

The mean part was that I didn't even have the balls to tell her. I just ran away and hid, hoping she'd think I was dead.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I forgive you.

I guess I've always had that cautious approach. It means I don't have a lot of friends, but the friends I have I do like. I have a problem with 2 types of 'friends'. One type is the friends I meet through my good friends, but whom I don't like. And the other type is people who I've shared a house with, but who I don't want to be friends with - especially after they've moved out. Those are both not so terribly hard to deal with. I don't make plans with them, I just sort of let things drop.

About a year ago, I met this girl at a party. We talked incredibly well for a few hours, I even was the one to take her to where she would be picked up by her dad, we exchanged mails so we could talk on msn.

She's the kind of girl that if you don't answer 5 seconds after she types something asks if you're busy or if you don't want to talk to her. She came to my surprise birthday party 3 weeks after meeting her even if it was only for close friends, she asked me if I could be a model for a painting (that was very weird but I said yes). She phoned me some times and I didn't remember giving her my phone.

So one time I told her to stop calling me, that she sometimes gets on my nerves, that I never gave her the phone number... but then she says I did give it to her... and then I remembered I had. I began laughing and that was it.

She loves you, Joe.
She wants to see you naked.
She can be sooo sweet.
She's the type who'll say out loud, when you wake up in her bed: "Ahh! I wish this can happen every day for the next 50 years".
She'll cling to you forever.
Avoid her like the pest!

That's what I thought, so I avoided her after the things I wrote about happened. We don't talk anymore.

I too, felt bad for some seconds then felt better that she was out of my life.

Sometimes ya just have to be a jerk.

It was me or her.. I like me better than her, it was an easy decision but a tough execution.

Hey Joe, if you click on the "sponsored link" under the word "loves", you may find your soulmate... or more probably a more potent version of your clingy lovey wannabe.

What the f*** are "sponsored links"?

You mean the ones that get underlined?


If you say it's a more potent version, why would I be interested in her?

Jus' kiddin'.
I think you have to be a freaking desperado to get into those matchmaking sites, so I thought the probability of a desperate girl trying to find a couple would be quite high, that's all.

Re: Getting Rid of "Friends"


You are SO SILLY!

Sometimes you do have to be a jerk to get the point across. I've had a few of those friends that I couldn't wait to get rid of. Felt bad for a moment, but I soon got over it.

Usually, its those CLINGY types that I can't deal with. Its not a priority for me to tell them what I've done every second of the day.

Friends are like tumors... they grow on you.
If the relationship is benign, all is well.
If the relationship is malignant, excise it.
Cleanly, surgically... never mean-spiritedly... lest it return someday to bite you in the backside.