Is my GF shady, or am I insecure

Forums: Relationships, Cheating, Insecurity
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So I'm dating a woman that I work with (yes, I know. Not a great idea) and she has really odd cell phone habits. When she's at work she's always on her phone and goofing off, but when we're together outside of work she only uses it when I go to the bathroom or go out for a quick smoke. At first, I thought this was because she valued our time, but lately I've noticed a few odd things:
-Her phone is almost always on silent
-She constantly checks her phone for notifications even on silent
-Most of the time her phone is tilted away from me when shes on it
-She gets up out of bed in the early morning to check it as discreetly as possible (she leaves it in the other room at night)
-She has admitted to me that she had deleted texts from a guy friend of hers ...i knew they were still talking and had a past history, but that's because she was upfront about it, so I didn't think anything of it...but then why delete messages unless you have something to hide?
This was prompted after a time he called her late at night and I asked her what he wanted as it bothered me. She said it was nothing of importance, and said she'd show me the messages, but deleted it. RED FLAG in my book.
- The other day she was on her phone and I glanced over and saw she was texting someone (At this point my suspicions are front and forward and she quickly shut her phone off and put it down.
I asked her about what shes doing and why she seems to be secretive about her phone and she tells me she doesnt realize she does these things (like angling her phone or leaving it on silent) and she said that she'll be more transparent about using her phone, but told me I was being insecure. To be honest, I feel insecure and it's not like me at all. This is the only relationship where I've felt this way. My gut feeling tells me something is off, but I'm not sure. Any advice?

PS: Her guy friend lives far away, so there's no chance they're meeting up...but they could be exchanging inappropriate texts or pictures...which is what I think is going on.

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 1,518 • Replies: 10

@Phillyguy87,

Or she could value her privacy.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Understandable. She told me she cheated on her ex with this guy, so it made me nervous. At this point, all I can do is trust her word that there's nothing going on or break up with her. But, if there's nothing to hide, why delete the messages? Oh well. I've got some thinking to do.

2 Replies

@Phillyguy87,

Quote:

She told me she cheated on her ex with this guy, so it made me nervous.

Red
*******
Flag
Bro

Cycloptichorn

0 Replies

@Phillyguy87,

I'm with Cyclo. Massive red flag there, regardless of the texts.

1 Reply

@Phillyguy87,

Hello,

I also think it's not a good sign. I had something similar (little more extreme) eventually my ex left for a guy from work.

She is insecure not you. She can't commit or stay with one person.
My advice is , assess the situation and then really speak to her and tell her how it seriously bothers you. Be prepared to put split up scenario on the table.

I know it sounds harsh but trust me my friend, you only save your self from much worse. Plus, when you're prepared to leave her because of her immaturity , shows confidence and strength ...most attractive aspects in a human being.

Head up dude! Be strong and be prepared to walk alone if you have to...there is not point being in a relationship if the person you with has no respect about your feelings.

You got this!

0 Replies

@Phillyguy87,

There are plenty of people who value their privacy...but if they do, that carries into their work life. People are consistent about things they value (whereas if they are uncertain if they value something or not, they can be inconsistent in that area)

The fact is, she wants her privacy from you.

Personally, I would describe her behaviour in this area as very secretive.

My phone does not have a pin, and I leave it laying around. I don't care who sees my bank account. I don't care if things I say behind peoples back gets repeated to their face. That is to say - Your girlfriend is the very last type of woman I would want to end up with...

...but it's up to you to know how you are, to know how important this is to you, to know if this type of behaviour is good for you - and to make decisions based on such.

As a side note, make sure you consider long term consequences, and long term happiness (unless you're just using her for sex). Anything else usually leads to bad decisions.

Good luck

0 Replies

@Phillyguy87,

Lady's is pimps too!!
You got played, listen to your gut.
First of all once a cheater always a cheater.
My ex told me something similar, she had mentioned
That she was the cheater in MOST of her relationships,
Then one day she admitted that she had cheated on me!
Later she said I lied, it was a reverse psychology trick to see if
You will admit to cheating. Either way that's history!
I wouldn't doubt it if she was cheating on you dude! No offense.
Females these days are savages!!
Do a backflip and you'll feel better!

0 Replies

@jespah,

Really????

1 Reply

@sarahanry,

I think that you are right, you should leave it because you are insecure.

0 Replies

@Phillyguy87,

Omg!!! So sorry Phillyguy87!!! This sounds bad!!!! Today I am pretty mad at my s/o now my ex although I do not think she knows it yet, BUT she will!! She is doing drugs & sleeping around, I do neither & she is very clear on my opinion of it. I have talked about it with her & in the time we have been together she has made no effort to stop. We do not (nor ever) live together, she was away for a few days at a "freaks conference" at which sex, drugs are the norm. I have not been well during that time & told her. Nearly 12 hours later she responded but made no mention of my chest pain & palpations that I told her about. She tells me that she "loves me" BUT if that's love I fail to understand what isn't. To me when you love someone they should not be causing you (me) more stress etc knowing what it is doing to me. She is now mad at me for some things I said & supposedly is coming tomorrow morning to talk. Personally if you are hurting the one you love (knowing you are doing that) I do not think there is much to talk about. I have also contacted her manager & will be contacting the police about the drugs. She lives with 2 men who are married & they tell her what drugs they want & when the want them. No real friends put there friends at risk by doing this, if they do they are NOT real friends. Some may say I am being very hard BUT I want what"s best for her & seeing as she does not listen & its causing me health issues I feel I cannot let this continue. I do not know about this woman BUT I would feel very wary of her if I were you. My best suggestion would be run like hell!!

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Is my GF shady, or am I insecure

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