Don't feel left out material girl. Women who have had kids, as you can see, love to sit around and bitch about their birth stories. I agree that, at least the first year or so after having kids, there is kind of a divide between women who have kids and their friends who don't. Most of this is due to the freedom of movement that the kidless friends enjoy. I think it settles a bit after a year or so. The adapting is hard for women, especially if they enjoyed their kidfree years.
(That was a response to Kristie ^)
materialgirl, takes all kinds, and certainly nothing wrong with not having the urge. We've talked about this here on A2K a fair amount.
In terms of accomplishment, you could also, like, swallow a marble or something, pass it, get through the pain, and say "there, I did it!" and move on. ;-)
See that is why women who have been through pregnancy and childbirth do not tell the truth. They want others to suffer like they have. Truthfully, I did not have my first until I was 34. In my 20s I having way too much fun and being young. Kids are incredible, but they completely change your life. It is the hardest, but most satisfying work you could ever have. It is also true some people will never be good parents and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. What is wrong is to be pressured by anyone to have a child when you are not ready.
It is scary to have children. They depend on you for everything. You can’t ignore them like I do with my cats if I was out partying and am hung over. Wait a minute, I have children, I rarely even go out at night and usually too tired to stay out very long during the rare exception.
I cannot even describe the joy and happiness you first get holding your baby for the first time. There is no way to describe it. There is sometimes a wall, and I think it is more important for those that have children to break it down and remember what it was like when you did not have children. It is more difficult for those that do not have children as they can not fully understand the experience. There is no reason for anyone to ever feel like they are not a complete woman without giving birth. I was a complete woman before I had my children and that made me better prepared to raise kids.
There is nothing wrong with you material girl, I did not have children until I was ready and I was in my 30s, and I think I am o-k.
As far as adoption, which I think is great. We will adopt for the next child if we can financially support a third. But adoption takes longer, if you plan on adopting an infant or very young child and is extremely expensive. I know some couples who have adopted and it is not easy.
When I think of my pal with her daughter, another one on the way, happily married, nice house and then me(warning, sob story approaching)no man, not much to do of an evening, wasting time in a job I hate I start to think people with young families are having a better time.
I see the divide of a new mother looking after the baby and I think its a good thing that they are spending time bringing up a family, thenagain I suppose being unattatched and kidfree can be a good thing too.
Her 6 year old daughter is an absolute delight, if mine turned out like her Id have 50 of them.
Ho hum,maybe Il wake up one day and completely change my mind about the whole giving birth thing and jump on someone,hehe.
Just think material girl, if you want to go somewhere, you can just go. No diaper bags, arranging for sitters, planning your day around nap time, looking like a slob because all of your close are covered with teething cookie spooge, etc...
It's such a personal decision. You take your time making it and don't worry.
Stranger things can happen material girl. It happened to me. My best friend has four kids now with 2 in their teenage years where my oldest is 6. You can see that I went through something similar to you about 15 years ago. No interest in having a family or a man. Traveling and vacation when and where I wanted. Staying out to all hours. I loved it. But look at me now. It really can sneak up on you – watch out!
<lost in nostalgia for the time when I could just do whatever I dang well pleased whenever I dang well pleased...>
(Warning-continuation of sob story)On other posts Ive explained my lack of not knowing where to go to meet nice guys so I dont have a boyfriend.
Maybe ive conditioned myself into not allowing myself to want to be pregnant because i think i will never be a position to have any, ie I think nobody wants me as a girlfriend so why would they want me as the mother of their child, no sufficient amount of money, no home of my own,no father figure etc.
Thanks for your insights ladies.I know Im being silly but its nice to talk these things through.
Not all pregnancy and childbirth stories are horror ones. Mine were easy and free of complications, except for the intense pain during labor. But then, I've never had a menstrual cramp, ever...
You are a very lucky woman!
My usually refined, soft-spoken mother told me the truth. At about age 10 I asked her what it was like to give birth and she said: "It's like crapping a watermelon".
No kidlets at my house, just critters.
I was adamant about not wanting children until I hit my mid-30s and found myself settled in a happy marriage. I was finally stable enough...emotionally, financially, etc...to consider it seriously. I think my earlier feelings of not wanting children were my psyche's way of telling me I shouldn't go there. Because it would have been a train wreck then. Now, however, it is the greatest thing I ever decided to do, and I'm grateful I got the chance. Can't believe how close I came to missing out on all this love.
The other day, out of the frickin' blue, I hear a strange voice say "honey, let's have a baby." I looked around and then stopped when I realized the voice was mine.
