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Mon 3 Jan, 2005 09:42 am
So i have been seeing a guy for about a month now. I"ve been a bit insecure as to how he feels about me and he knows this. He has told me that he likes me, is attracted to me and loves spending time with me. He said he feels like he is constantly having to reassure me and he doesnt like having to do this. We had sex about 2 weeks ago, then he went away on vacation. I ended up seeing him this past saturday...it had been almost 2 weeks since i'd seen him so pretty much as soon as i got there we ended up having sex. I have to say it was really good, i have never been with anyone who lasts as long as he does.
Afterwards, we talked for a bit and then he picks my white thong up from the floor is was like, oooh, look at these. He then goes on to say that he has a black pair just like this and took them out of a box and showed them to me. They were clearly another girls pair of underwear. I asked why he had them and he said they got left behind. I was like, why are you showing them to me then?? He was like, oh i was just saying that they're like yours only black. He then puts my white pair in the box. At this point i could feel myself getting upset. He said he was cleaning up one day and found them adn put them in the box. Then he's like, yeah i guess i should have just thrown them out.
I was completely turned off at this point. i said i didnt know why he felt the need to show them to me. He was like, dont be mad. I didnt speak to him and then said i was going home. He was like, oh please it's not like i'm your first boyfriend. I put on my coat and got my bag. He was like, i dont want you to leave, but i really feel like your overacting. I said, i cant believe you would show me someone else's underwear right after we had sex, how would you like it if i did that to you. He was like, i wouldnt be having the reaction you are having now.
He went on to say that he feels like he's constantly reassuring me that he likes me, and it should be obvious by now that he likes me and he's not the type of person who is going to be telling me over and over again how he feels. he said he feels like he is always disappointing me and maybe he is just not 'the one.' then he's like, yeah you're thinking right now that you knew all along i wasnt the one. He apologized for showing me the underwear. I ended up not going home and the rest of the weekend was great, i am supposed to see him on tuesday.
I know i am not ridiculous for getting upset about him showing me that underwear. I feel that was really classless. Did i overreact by crying and getting upset?
No...if ever you do the dog with him again(if you're smart, you won't) be sure to be wearing a pair of men's boxers. When he asks about 'em just say some guy left them and you couldn't bear to throw 'em away.
I think that he WAS being classless, but I also think that you were overreacting. Egads, this is only a month long relationship.
Play it by ear. This might have been a minor faux pas on his part, or he may be an insensitive cad. You don't know him long enough to make a judgment about that. Keep your eyes and ears open, and wait and see!
Phoenix is the reasonable one class...
If you're cool enough to hang with a fetishist, go for it.
Given your recent history (based on your posts here), I'd guess that it might be a bit of a rough ride for you.
Literally.
I think that this guy is just being stupid. He probably didn't realize what an ass he was bring by bringing out the underwear but regardless, any man who has a box of womens underwear....hm, just sounds a little bizarre to me. It's sort of like the proverbial "notch on the bedpost" thing as far as I am concerned. I'd walk if I were you.
I am curious as to the ages of the two of you, if you don't mind.
I was just googling paraphilia (which is what this is part of in the DSM III) . Interesting how much of a market there is for used panties.
panzade wrote:No...if ever you do the dog with him again(if you're smart, you won't) be sure to be wearing a pair of men's boxers. When he asks about 'em just say some guy left them and you couldn't bear to throw 'em away.
Bwa ha ha. You're killing me, panz.
I have a collection of fetishs, mostly Zuni and Hopi. None of them have any sexual aura (that I know of)
So, the deal is that he collects trophies, and he just added your panties to the collection. If I were a girl, I would be out of there, and never look back. I'm not a girl, however, and I'm not you.
Putting a second pair into a box is a pretty good signal.
class241's previous posts say she's 26, has no friends, just out of a 4 year relationship ...
roflmao, Phoenix I think you found the shoes I've been missing!
Phoenix32890 wrote:dys- I wanted to post a droll pic of a fetish. While I was surfing around, I happened on this:
Link to fetish
I think this is so funny!
How anyone could wear those, ever, is beyond me.
To the Zuni Indian, there are six cardinal directions. The six directions are each represented by a mountain of a different color; they are the guardians of these six regions and the masters of the medicine powers for that region. The fetishes of the six directions are animals of prey and are as follows:
North --------- Mountain Lion (yellow)
West ---------- Bear (black or blue)
South --------- Badger (red)
East ---------- Wolf (white)
Upper Region -- Eagle (all colors)
Lower Region -- Mole (black)
I don't know the guy, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was a bit of a, errrr, probe by him - hoping that class241 might be into the scene. Definitely the kind of thing you want to find out before you get too far into a relationship. He'd want to know if she could be a player. If not, he can decide whether to proceed. In any case, he's got another pair of panties <shrug>. Good on him.
Gives new meaning to Shag Me Pumps.
re
I am 26, he is 31. I told him that he acted like he was 21. I saw him take the underwear out of the box, there was only one pair in there. He jokingly put mine in there. I dont really think he's got this fetish. He has never mentioned anythign about underwear before and he didnt take a great interest in my underwear. LAter the underwear came up again and he said that she had mailed them to him. I was like, why? He said, yeah i didnt quite get it myself, but she was a big fan...i just let it drop. He also said he was still friends with her. I asked if he normally stayed friends with exes and he said no.
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