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Tue 24 Oct, 2017 08:00 am
So I have a female co-worker and we're the same age. Known her about 9-years through work. We would class each other as friends, but I wouldn't say we were anywhere near close. We used to have regular nights out (with other people) about 8-years ago, but she has since became a mother and we lost contact / never seen each other through her working a more suitable shift.
About 6-months ago she came back onto my shift (at the same time, I had just came out of a long-term relationship). We swapped numbers again and since then nothing has really changed between us. However, lately we've been messaging more regularly (probably more through boredom as 2 singletons).
Last weekend we were messaging, she told me she was kid-free and had nothing to do. I jokingly accused her of wanting me to go round for food and drinks (a friend of mine suggested this to her a couple of years ago, which we've joked about in the past). She seemed keen on the idea, so I half-jokingly suggested going round the week after, seeing as it would be my birthday and she could treat me. She then responded suggesting I come round on a night when she is next kid-free, but I turned it down as I already had plans that night... but did tell her we would have to do it sometime (I didn't tell her that's because her proposition intrigues me).
Being a single, red-blooded male - I know fine well what my intentions would be. But what are her intentions? I've never been to her house before, nor have I ever been invited round before. We've seldom had time alone together, apart from when she has given me a lift home. From what I know of her, she's had plenty of sexual partners in the past... so she comes across to me as a bit of an easy target.
I don't see her as relationship-material, but I do find her attractive and would have sex with her if given the chance. My only 2 concerns if something more was to happen between us, would be - if she was to tell people in work about us - and - if things would be weird between us in the future.
How do I play this?
@NiceGuysFinishLast,
You don't.
Unless you really hate your job and don't need any reference you could possibly get from it, screwing someone at work (particularly when it's not for a relationship and the parties may not be on the same page, anyway) is a recipe for poisoning your working environment and, in the worst case scenario, having an accusation of sexual harassment hurled at you.
Given that it can be inferred you've been at your current job for 9 years already, I would say - find somewhere else to look for bed partners.
'From what I know of her, she's had plenty of sexual partners in the past... so she comes across to me as a bit of an easy target . . . I don't see her as relationship-material, but I do find her attractive and would have sex with her if given the chance.'
Do you have any idea how very crude you sound?
@PUNKEY,
Play - engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.
Even the way I worded the title of this post suggests I'm approaching the situation in a "crude" fashion. For all we know, the woman in question feels the same way about me as I do her. I'm just looking for advice, not to be patronised...
@NiceGuysFinishLast,
I will first say that you should seriously consider Jespah's answer and don't start anything with her, especially since you would only be getting with her for "play." But I will add my opinion on your two concerns.
Quote: if she was to tell people in work about us
I would bet that this is a good possibility. And more so if she wants a relationship and you do not. She could feel used by you and tell co-workers all about how she feels used.
Quote: if things would be weird between us in the future.
I would bet on this being the case. Especially if she had one expectation and you had another.
It just is not a good idea to get entangled with co-workers. Way too many possible consequences.
@NiceGuysFinishLast,
NiceGuysFinishLast wrote:
she comes across to me as a bit of an easy target.
Are you kidding me?
That statement of yours says it all.
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