help again

so as you know i have intrusive thoughts that range but there always the same topics that pop up now i had a good time i have gone a month without any of these thoughts but there coming back. Now today i had a date wih a guy and i didnt have any violent or bad thoughts instead i was thinking i must be an evil, awful, horrible and a bad person here i am with this great guy who seems happy and a couple of hours ago i had intrusive thoughts i just felt sad because he dosent know whats wrong with me not that i would tell but i feel like this about eveyone like im going through this and no one understands but then i think thast selfish of me other people are going through this i just cant see it



The second thing is the thoughts are there for a bit then the topic of the thoughts change is this normal. How do i know if these thoughts are actual OCD and not just who i am.