@mmurp123,
Stop playing those games.
Why do you want to play games where there is a winner? Doing so means someone must be a loser...and why would anyone want to be in a relationship with a partner who insists on them being a loser?
Make your decisions based on what is necessary for you to respect yourself. If you keep asking this at each decision, it eventually becomes subconscious, and:
- (eventually) your respect yourself more; and
- (eventually) decisions become so much easier.
Self respect is never about playing to win. Its about being true to yourself, and by extension, being genuine with others.