Does my first girlfriend want me back?

Reply Tue 21 Mar, 2017 12:28 am
So I am 20 years old and this girl and I met in a softball park when I was 17 and she was 16. This was the beginning of my first true relationship which lasted for about 6 months. However I foolishly let her go because of my parents persuading me that "there are plenty of fish in the sea, why settle for just one at such a young age"? I believed them and decided to break up with her. After a month or so for the next few years I decided to try and date other girls as I grew older but none of these have amounted to the feelings and emotions I had with my first girlfriend. She did the same and I believe she's had similar results as well based off of keeping in touch with her as friends sparingly over time.

I recently found out her grandmother had passed away and I decided to send her a text message about how sorry I was for her loss. She responded with a thank you and told me about some other issues in her life, including her most recent boyfriend and her splitting up. I felt like this was interesting as we have had longer conversations over the last week both being single than we ever had while we were both in relationships. I mustered up the confidence yesterday to ask her if she'd like to go to a movie and get some ice cream afterwards and she sounded thrilled, she has been looking for friends to hang out with with the recent break up and passing away of her grandmother. After discussing several movie related details with her I decided to "acknowledge the elephant in the room" by explaining how this would be the first time we had gone out together alone since we dated so long ago and I wanted to know if she would consider it a date or just friends hanging out.

I told her I completely understood her decision reguardless of her decision and I understood that all this stuff was going on, and that I just wanted clarity (even though my soul has been screaming for her since I realized what a mistake I made by dumping her.) Needless to say I did not get the answer I had hoped for. She said she wasn't currently looking for a boyfriend and that she needed time to grow closer to God so she could learn to love herself before she could love someone else. She did however point out that she was so happy to finally be hanging out with me again and couldn't wait for the movie tomorrow.

Now If you have taken the time to read up to this point my question is: Do I still try to pursue this girl who I strongly believe without a doubt is my soul mate? I will do anything to honor her wishes and I really do love her in my heart. I know I can't take back my actions against her all those years ago, but I just wish I had another chance. I do believe based on how she acts around me and how we constantly talk that she's still got a side of her that wants me back as well, however I'm just completely lost as to whether if I still have a chance with her, or if I have been permenantly booted to the friend zone. I only have one regret in life and that's that I let her slip away and I'm just hopeful she'll want me back one day.
Reply Tue 21 Mar, 2017 06:29 am
Why don't you just take it day by day and see where things lead? Why try to clarify whether this movie get together would be a "date" or just a couple of friends hanging out? Slow down and see what develops.

Do I still try to pursue this girl
Are you seriously telling me that you would consider not pursuing her simply because she did not want to consider this get together a "date." Or just because she isn't ready to jump back into a relationship quickly? If that is the case, then I don't think you really believe she is your "soul mate."

Bottom line, go out and have a good time with this woman with whom you believe you have a connection. Things will either progress or they won't. How much time you wait for her to be ready to get more serious is up to you.

Good luck.

Reply Tue 21 Mar, 2017 09:37 am
Thank you for your response, when I said "Do I still try and Pursue" believe me every part of me wants to do so! I'm just not sure how she'd feel about it and like I said I couldn't live with myself if she completely left my life because I was too urgent. Again thank you, that helped a lot and makes good sense. Guess I just needed someone's good opinion on the matter.
Reply Tue 21 Mar, 2017 09:48 am
What do you mean by pursue?
Reply Sat 25 Mar, 2017 01:19 am
What I mean by pursue is should I keep trying? I am literally head over heels for her and since our putting Tuesday Night we have been in touch every day. It is nice to finally communicate with her regularly but I do not want to be friend zoned forever. I feel there is a very probable chance I can make it out but I also think there's that chance I might not. I will go for her and let fate decide the outcome. I won't rush but I won't drag it on.
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