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Fri 13 Oct, 2017 01:04 am
It was great, we spent the morning together and had a great time, we hit it off so well that we kissed that afternoon and decided we wanted to be in a relationship. Then in conversation it came up that she was trans and had a penis. I pretended like it didn't change anything but I feel horrible for having a change of heart, I feel horribly confused and deceived, she's a lovely woman and a beautiful person but I don't think I can love her! Guys this is torment! How do I deal with a situation this emotionally fragile, I want to be as honest as possible to her. I never thought of myself as transphobic. Even after learned this information we kept kissing. I still carried on that sense of "love" but it had completely changed. I don't think I can bring it back. Can someone refer me to an expert here?
Is this internalized transphobia? I'm just freakin out.
Fyi I'm a Cis Male, teenager almost adult, very passionate and emotional.
Please offer constructive advice or the tough truth I need to hear. I just need some clarity.
She's also just such a wonderful person? How could I ever end the relationship and try to remain friends with her??
@help the anon,
Tough truth? Okay, she'll probably break you heart, though I can't predict when. Now, go ahead with what you want, anyway.
@help the anon,
Go to Dan Savage web site. There was a situation in his advice column just a few weeks ago that was similar to yours.
@help the anon,
Not wanting a relationship with a transexual doesn't make you anything bad. This is no different than finding out somebody is a smoker, or celibate, or a quadriplegic. If it doesn't mesh with what you are seeking in a relationship, it just doesn't, and that's okay.
@help the anon,
If you think she's a wonderful person, take it a day at a time.
Some things won't feel comfortable (e.g. sucking her dick), while other things will be unchanged.
My advice is not to end the relationship until you're sure it has to end. Keep yourself open and flexible.
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