How do I deal with the fact that my wife had fwb when we met

Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2017 07:37 pm
How do I deal with the fact my wife had FWB when we met? It's not really that she had a FWB, that makes me mad, but it is that our sex has gone to ****. She lays there and lets me go till i'm done. I have literally done everything to try and make it better. I have tried to introduce new things, tried everything from extended foreplay to toys. Talking with her about it gets me no where. She acts shy about anything new, disgust her she wont even do handjobs on a regular basis for me. It's gotten to where we dont even make out. We barely kiss during sex. I try and she will kiss me once then turn away? I have talked to her and she says that sex is painful after she had a c-section for our kids. In her credit she had two really bad twin pregnancies. But I try and get her doctors appointments and she either wont go or she says she will make it when she can and she doesn't. I am at my wits end, but I know i dont want to have sex like this, once a week for the rest of my life. We have kids so I don't want to think about divorce but I don't know what to do? So I guess I'm mad, down right infuriated that there was a man my wife liked having sex eith so much thag she initiated a friends with benifits relationship with. But I, the man who loves her more than anything and lives breathes and would die for our family gets such a sad pitiful excuse for sex. Maybe I'm being selfish abd thats why I'm here, i dont know where the line is anymore. I dont even know how to find it.
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2017 05:53 am
Sounds like there are some medical issues that need to be addressed..

She won't go to Dr.? Then YOU go. The Dr. Can't talk to you about her specific issues, but can explain what might be the problems after childbirth.

You have two sets of twins? Wow. Maybe she's just exhausted!! She needs a physical at the least and help from a nanny if this is the case.
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2017 06:49 am
I appreciate the reply but, I'm a stay at home dad. I recieved a brain injury in afghanistan and i can no longer work so i draw a retirement and my wife recently went back to work which added a whole new layer to this.

We got married right before I left. Sex was awesome we were awesome together. I came back and she said she would stay with me. I got depressed because i lost the abilitt to walk and use my left hand. We had our f8rst set of twins and thats when our troubles began. It was like a lightbulb went off and everything disappeared. It started to get better and then it happened all over again.
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2017 07:50 am
First of all, thank you so much for your service.

Now - school adds a lot, particularly when you're older (I went back and got a degree last year, and lemme tell ya, concentrating is not easy and I did it without kids in the house. Can't imagine what that's like with them around). So even if it's not physical, it's rather mentally exhausting all the same.

Your whole house dynamic sounds difficult. Have you (either or both) been to counseling? It might help, not only to unburden yourselves about your marriage but also about how things have been changed radically by your injury. Even if it's been a few years and everybody's used to it, that doesn't mean it's all said and done.
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